Why so serious?
by Squee page 394
Summary: Alice Spencer, daughter of Elliott Spencer aka Pinhead. She goes to Hogwarts to see her boyfriend, Fred Weasley and a few of her other friends, when she meets up with an old frend from her dark past. Harry Potter, Dark Kight, Hellraiser X-Over
1. Chapter 1

**Why So Serious?**

It was a nice, sunny day at Hogwarts. Harry, Ron, Hermione, the Weasley twins and the new student Alice Spencer (who'd been there for nearly six months and was still considered new) were hanging out by the main hall when the kid with the camera runs towards them with a newspaper. "Hey Look at this guys!" he says after snapping his picture with his somewhat of a pest camera.

Alice takes the newspaper from him and she has a very shocked look on her face. If it had any other picture on the front paper, she wouldn't have cared about it. But it had to be _him._

Fred looks at Alice with concern. He'd never seen her concerned before, considering her background that she'd told him about and her 'secret'. "What is it?" he asked, concern in his voice.

Neville walks over and looks at the newspaper. "What's wrong with his face?" he asked. The moving picture showed a crazy person with paint on his face, giving a look so evil that Neville practically turned around and walked away with shivers running down his spine.

Hermione takes the newspaper and says, "I know who that is! That's a crazy muggle who calls himself The Joker. He escaped from the insane asylum in Gothem City. But why would he be coming here?" she trailed off, leaving a hint of confusion in her voice.

Harry looks at Alice and asks, "Do you know who this "Joker' is?" referring to the fact that she'd mentioned some time ago that she came from America in a town called Gothem.

The look on her face gave away the answer before she'd even said it. Of course she knew him. He was The Joker, mass murderer and serial killer and insane to boot! "Yes, but how did he escape?" Alice answers back. She remembered that the last time she was in Gothem The Joker had been captured and sent to the insane asylum because he seemed to like prison too much. But still, how did he escape?

As all of them thought about this, below Hogwarts George was looking for some fireworks to set off in the yards for a prank where instead he found barrels of gasoline wired to each other as if in the design of pretzels. George runs to the gang and yells, "Guys come quick!" he yells as loud as he could. It was a good thing he used his wand to amplify his voice.

They all rushed down stairs to find those barrels hooked up. "We need to fight him before he kills us all! We need a plan," Alice tells everyone. "Harry, do you still have that map?" she asks, turning to him, her face giving off the look of urgency.

Harry pulls the map out of his pocket, "Y-yes I do."

"Good," she replies as they all go back to the main hall. Alice takes the map from Harry and asks, "How do you work this thing?" right after she realized she didn't know how to work the Mauderers Map.

Fred and George pull out there wands and say, "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," and they tapped the map with their wands. Instantly the ink on the map appeared and revealed where everyone in the castle was. Snape was pacing in his dungeon, the rest of the teachers in a room, possibly having a meeting and random students scattered everywhere. Then they found him, they found The Joker.

"That can't be right, look," Hermione says pointing at a spot on the map. Everyone looks at the map more closely.

Alice confused, says, "The map is saying that The Joker is....." she trails off.

Right as she was about to finish her sentence, they all heard laughter fill the room. Evil laughter. So evil that one feeling filled everyone; fear. They all turned to find The Joker sitting down in a chair, wearing his classic, evil smile. Ron worried and scared asked, "What do you want?"

The Joker seemed to think about this for a second because his eyes rolled up. Of course he wasn't really thinking about it. Just stalling for the intensity of the fear he knew they all had. "What do I want?" he said aloud. "I want a big car. Shiny, black, big motor. Stereo inside," The Joker answered. Of course he said the first thing that came to his mind.

Hermione tells The Joker, "We're only kids, we can't get you that. None of us can even drive!"

"Oh. You all look......Scared. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got them?" he asked eagerly. Whenever someone looked at him like Hermione did he got the urge to tell a random story as to how he got those scars. Of course he never told anybody the truth except one person.

Before The Joker could continue Alice interrupts him, "Joker, what are you doing here and what do you really want?" she asked both annoyed and afraid. He was far worse than his reputation. She would know. She lived in Gothem before.

The Joker replies to her, shocked to see a familiar face, "Alice, fancy meeting you here. Why did you run away?" he said, making sure to say the last sentence with a slightly menacing tune to it.

"Cause you're a maniac!!!" she screams at him. Anger started to fill her.

"No I'm not....NO....I'm NOT!" he argues back. If there was anything wrong with him, it was his choice in choosing henchmen, but not that he was a maniac! He was not insane. Everyone else was insane in his mind.

Fred goes in between the two fearfully and asks, "Mr. Joker, I hate to interrupt the two of you but may I borrow Alice?"

Joker says, "Sure, why not?" using a sarcastic voice and turning around to give them some privacy.

"Alice, I have an idea. Tell The Joker to join our army to fight 'you know who'."

Alice looks at Fred like he's crazy. This was The Joker they were talking about! What on Earth would compel the psycho to help them? Then an idea popped into her head. "It's crazy enough to work."

Draco walks in looking at The Joker, disgust filling his voice, "Who are you?".

Everyone turns to yell at him for his lack of knowledge that just happens to include him. "He's The Joker!!"

"Hey little boy, you wanna see a trick?" The Joker offers Draco becoming interested in the smart-ass who addressed him. The first thought that came through his head was to 'show him how to make a pencil disappear'.

Draco tells The Joker, "Don't touch me, you filthy muggle. Just wait until my father hears about this!" He stalks off to get away from the filthy muggle that he didn't want to be around. He made it out just in time.

Just then, The Joker pulls out his detonator and tells everyone "This is hooked up to those barrels down stairs. So if anyone else tries to leave, I simply press this button."

Alice walks over to The Joker and starts to change his plan. "Come over here my green haired friend. Listen, I know someone that not only hates us but you as well. Now what you can do is help us fight this guy not for us but for yourself. See, if you do this then there might be something in it for you," Alice explains, making sure to leave a trail of secrecy in her voice.

"Why should I help you?" The Joker asks irritated at her.

"Cause we could teach you real magic," Alice tells him.

So they taught the Joker how to use a wand and they taught him how to do some magic amazingly. He was a muggle after all! Or was he??? After a while they were done with his training and sitting around planning on Voldemort's destruction. Just then, Lord Voldemort himself, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange and Peter Petigrew bust open the wall of Hogwarts and start attacking everyone that is in there way, trying to kill Harry Potter. Alice was fighting off Lucius. Harry was fighting off Peter. The Twins, Hermione, and Ron were fighting off Bellatrix while The Joker was Fighting Lord Voldemort. "Who are you?" Voldemort asked The Joker, wondering why a freak was attacking him.

The Joker answers laughing, "Who am I? I'm the one who fled away. I'm the one they talk about. You know, I've never seen you...before," he chuckled. "You look confused. Is it the scars?"

As they all continued to fight, everyone heard a loud 'BANG'. They all looked and they saw Voldemort on the ground dead, his face scarred like The Jokers and Peter on the floor with a hole in his belly. Harry runs over to Hermione as Alice makes the final blow to Lucius. All six of them are now looking over at The Joker whom is laughing at Bellatrix with his hand around her throat. "What the bloody hell are you?" Bellatrix asks angry and a bit frightened.

He gave a more evil smile to her as an answer. "Your very pretty. You shouldn't look so.... angry. I hate it when people are angry," he says looking at Bellatrix.

"Joker, what the hell do you plan on doing?" Alice asks him, worried about what he was going to do.

Something that could only be described as annoyance was on his face was as he looked at Alice. "Do I look like a guy with a plan?" tells Alice. Laughter fills the room as laughing gas was set off. Harry Ron, Hermione, the twins and Alice were exiting the room. Just as the 5 left, Alice looked back and then ran with the rest of them. The Joker looks at Bellatrix and says, "You look scared. Lets put a smile on your face!" And he pushed the button on the detonator and the place explodes. The six of the kids walked over to what was once Hogwarts and was now rubble everywhere. Not everyone made it out alive. There was a quititch match today but the only person that decided to stay behind was Draco. Good riddance. Alice Walks in the middle of the rubble and picks up a card that was faced down. She turns the card around and it reads, "I want you to know that I will never forget you and I would like to thank you Alice, for not only being here but for being a friend. If you need me........._here's my card."_ His evil laughter filled her head as she read the note, knowing full well that their paths just might cross again. _Hahahaha._

End


	2. Chapter 2: If Looks Could Kill

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Dark Knight, Hellraiser, or Harry Potter. Other people do. I own Alice Spencer, Zerousy (my beta) owns Myra Spencer and together we own the Alice and Myra storyline, or as I like to call it, The Alice & Myra summary of both Alice and Myra Spencer is one of Zerousy's stories. It was put in the most basic form possible. Because I'm not good great at details, thank my beta. HINT HINT: There is a spoiler for this story in that summary. This is a spin off of that summary just to let you know.

**WARNING:**** lemons involved. If uncomfortable, don't read.**

**Please review: Either negative or positive reviews are accepted. I mean this!**

**Title: Why So Serious?**

**Chapter 2: If looks could kill **

Weeks pass, and everyone eventually forgot about the whole thing that happened at Hogwarts, everyone except for Alice. It was almost as if a silent spell had been placed over everyone's mind to purposefully forget the incident even happened. Almost exactly how cenobites clean up the mess they make after someone opens the box to hell. For Alice, dreams, hallucinations and daydreams of The Joker were slowly breaking her down into a slight insanity. Something she hadn't had in a while. The insecurity she felt, as she laid in the grass, she thought, _"What did that card mean?"_

As she wonders curiously she spaces out. A few moments pass and she hears Myra's voice, "Hey Alice, hey Fred." Not knowing Fred was there, Alice looks over to meet his smoldering, handsome eyes. She feels somewhat safe now that he is there with her and looks at her sister whom is wearing her usual white leather jacket with the 'M' insignia in red on the back of it. "Hey, what are you doing here?" she asks Myra.

Myra merely shrugged at first. "I was walking around and remembered that I had to go get George," she replies. That would somewhat explain why George wasn't around right now. If he wasn't with Myra, she was off to go get him then.

"Oh cool, where is George by the way?" Alice asked.

Alice notices Myra rubbing her stomach that is making hunger noises, indicating that she hadn't eaten all day. It was around 3 in the afternoon. "He's at the pizza place down the road. I'm going to get him and have some lunch while I'm there," Myra responds and takes her leave.

Alice and Fred go to her house, which was a block away from the pizza place. It's a decent sized apartment that had 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen. Usually Myra did the cooking. "Make yourself at home. I'm going to take a shower," Alice tells him looking at him with lustful eyes. His mere presence got her hot and going.

"Ok babe, I love you," he whispered in her ear. Just as he was about to kiss her his phone rang with an unknown number on it. He turned away to answer it, wondering who it might have been.

She made her way to the bathroom, turned on the shower, got undressed and went in. Her bathroom itself was Crayola red on the door because just for fun, she used a crayon. She had no paint at the time. The walls were an earwax color with a light donning the top of the ceiling. There was a sink that had a cupboard below it that held the common bathroom necessities like toilet paper and towels. A bathtub that connected to the wall was at the end of the room and was simply white and large enough to fit at least three people. She feels so relaxed by the wonderful temperature of the water that was warming up her slightly cold body. Being half cenobite thanks to He-Who-Will-Not-Be-Mentioned (Pinhead, her father) hers and Myra's bodies were naturally slightly colder than humans. In fact, they usually felt like they'd just got back from a trip to a walk-in freezer at a local market. Then she starts to think about her past. Dark, but yet there was something that she knew no one except her family knew of it. A past she didn't want anybody that didn't already know it to know about it. She starts thinking about an old flame that was never put to **rest. A flame that matched no other flame she'd felt before, and possibly never would. As** the water gently trailed down her breast, going down her stomach, she thought to herself, "_Could this be real?"_ She goes into deep thought, deeper than ever before and before she got in the tub, trying to sort out confusion that has set itself in her mind. "I'm scared. What is happening to me?" she whispered to no one in particular, mostly herself.

As she sits there in the shower, water pouring on her head, drenching her Bellamy from the band Muse's blue hair and making it stick to her and down her back, she pondered. She thought of her life with him. What it was like. It seemed strange and too good to be **true. As** she sat there naturally cold, trying to warm up, wet, and alone, she wanted him to be there with her. She opened her eyes and looked up. Three emotions passed her mind: surprise, confusion and anger.

There he was, The Joker, fully clothed, in her shower getting soaked to the bone. His hair was more of a mess than normal. It made her realize why the water wasn't as it should have been. It wasn't directly touching her. Alice asked The Joker in the order of her emotions, "How did you....?? Where did you...??? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOINGIN MY SHOWER!!!??"

The Joker looks at her and says, "I've been here...waiting for you. There's no need to be......frightened. I am surprised that you didn't notice me," he adds causally. She looks at him in disgust. The best way to describe the look on her face was best put as Debra Messing from the TV show THE STARTER WIFE when Kenny told her "The meat practically falls off the bone of the ribs". That look was priceless.

"I am not a scared of you, ok," she told him, trying to cram two words together; afraid and scared.

"You look stressed," he tells her with a condescending tone in his voice.

"Get the hell out of my shower and hand me a towel," she told him a bit pissed. Alice turns the shower off and holds out her arm and Joker hands her the towel. There was no way she was going to finish it with him in there. As she puts the towel on, getting out of the shower she asks him, "How did you get in here?"

He simply replies, shrugging as if it were obvious, "The door was unlocked." She thinks about it for a minute and very alert she asks with fear behind her eyes, "Where's Fred?"

Meanwhile at the pizza place after three pizzas between the two of them, George and Myra were walking along the beach, five miles away from Alice's place. "So, do you want to do something mischievous?" George asked Myra with both a scheming smile and tone.

Myra looked at him with the same look and responded with the same tone as him. "Sure, what do you want to do?" At the mere thought of doing something sneaky, most likely irresponsible and undoubtedly fun made her frivolous with delight. It had been a little while since they'd done something mischievously.

He scratched his head as he thought, his other hand rubbing his imaginary beard. "I was thinking about tricking some people," he suggested. From the sound of his voice he sounded like he was up for just about anything.

She thought about tricking someone for a second, but decided against it. They'd done that last time and she didn't want a repeat of events that led to them being thrown in a muggle jail for a whole day. Then she remembered that she'd just bought a paintball gun since Alice had broken her last one. "How about we play paintball?" she asks him.

The look on his face showed he had no clue as to what she was talking about. He'd obviously never heard of paintball in his whole life. Of course he didn't ask for the details about it. "How do you play that?" he asks.

Myra smiled. "With the way we're going to play it, it's quite simple....." As she was about to finish explaining to George how to play the mischievous game, she starts going into Cardiac Arrest.

"What's wrong!?!?!?" He asks fearfully. He didn't know what was wrong with his girlfriend but he knew it was not good at all.

"Alice.....Is..In...Trouble." She answers trying to catch her breath. That was all she was able to get out. He grabs her, lifts her to her feet and starts running to Alice's place. If something was wrong with Alice, something was definitely wrong with Fred because he would have never let anything happen to the love of his life.

Back at Alice's place, The Joker is talking to Alice, trying to convince her to go back with him. His life was just not as chaotic without her, and he lived for chaos, for chaos brought peace and logic, no matter what people said. "Get the hell out of here! Don't do this!" She cries out to anyone who could hear. He wouldn't let her leave the bathroom and she didn't know where or what happened to Fred.

"Come on. It won't hurt. Just remember all the good old times when I would tie you up and have my way with you." He grabs her face with one hand and with the other hand he holds a knife. "Look at me......LOOK AT ME!!!" He yells at her getting her attention. When she does, she can't move at all. Then he kisses her. Then he forces his tongue in her mouth...She has no choice but to do this. After all, Myra _IS_ the better half. He stops and he looks at her.

"This is so unnecessary," she said. She looks back and says with a quiver in her voice, unsure on what exactly is happening. He steps forward and kisses her so passionately that her body just gives in. There was no more will to fight him, because in her reality, there never was a chance. In a little part of her mind, she doesn't want this to end. She drops her towel and wraps her arms around him.

Quicker than she thought possible, The Joker had managed to strip his jacket off and slowly reveal his purple and green suit. The suspenders were the first thing Alice had grabbed and tore from his body as his gentle but strong hands quickly unbuttoned his shirt. When that was thrown from his body along with the suspenders, they both went for his pants, rushing to remove his last piece of clothing to at least satisfy the both of them. Socks and shoes would remain, keeping him from actually removing his pants. Of course that would be the last thing that would be in their way, he never wore underpants.

Completely and utterly amazed at his shirtless form, she bore witness to not only the scars he'd gained by living the life that he has always lived by, but also the scars that she'd given him. It confused her as to why something as trivial as hurting him and having the scars to prove it turned her on. Before another thought even crossed her mind, he pushed her down to the floor and crossed the threshold that joined their bodies. For her, the sensation was like it was before; no one would be able to match it because of his uncanny ability to know her very thoughts on the actions they did together. As he penetrates her, she moans and looks at him with pleasure in her eyes. She felt like she was floating as he thrusts, moans and kind of laughs in passion. He'd always done this, mixing business with pleasure. In fact, this probably was business. Last minute business that included sex like no other. Harder and harder he dove into her cave that he'd touched with his light so many times before. Only now, she didn't really belong to him anymore, which made it the forbidden fruit that he needed to take, taste and devour. The last thing she saw before her peak hit was her eyes traveling to from the ceiling to the window, thinking how wrong and bitter sweet this was.

Then Myra and George bust in the door. The Joker was no were to be found. He left a card on the counter top next to the sink. George runs over to Alice, grabbing a towel to cover her with it. Myra reads the card out load, "You almost caught me. HA HA HA!!!!"

**AN:PLEASE REVIEW! I'll take the good and the bad!**


	3. Chapter 3: Intimacy

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Hellraiser or the Dark Knight. This is a spin off of Zerousy's summary story to our characters. I make no money off this.**

Author's note: reviews are nice. good or bad.

Why so serious: Chapter 3 Intimacy

When Alice awoke, she started thinking on what exactly happened. Her memories were a little hazy right now and she knew if she thought too hard she'd get a headache. She looks to see Myra and George. "Wha...Wha...??" She whispered to the both of them.

George's voice filled the room. "Poor girl, she's dazed and confused. Should we take her to her room?" George asks Myra very concerned for Alice's safety. He knew of Fred's plan to ask Alice to marry him, so she was practically already his sister. Ginny was his only sister and she was younger than him but acted as if she were older. Alice was the opposite so that made George feel a little better knowing that Alice had her 'moments' when she'd act like a five year old.

It was Myra's sharp tongue that brought him out of his little thoughts about siblings. "Bring her to the couch!" Myra demanded him. George picked her up and headed to the living room. Fred was sitting on the couch when the two of them walked back into the living room from the bathroom.

Relief consumed George. He had been out cold for a little while and neither he nor Myra was able to wake him up. Granted that they did try to throw water in his face, that didn't work. "Fred! How are you feeling bro?"

Fred's voice sounded tired, like he'd been drugged so much that he probably couldn't think straight. "I'm alright George. Where's Alice?" Fred asks rubbing his eyes.

"She's right here." George answers, showing Fred that Alice was in his arms. Fred blinked several times, wondering how he'd missed that.

Again, Myra's sharp tongue was heard, only this time it was directed toward Fred. Both of the twins noticed that Myra was being extremely bossy today. Normally she's not this bad. "Get out of the way Fred! George, put her on the couch. Try not to wake her just yet," Myra instructed. Without George knowing, Alice fell asleep (again) in his arms. He gently puts her on the couch and immediately looks at Myra who is staring out the window furious. "That fucking Joker! I'd kill him myself. Fucking ass-munch," she mutters under her breath, acting like she's talking to herself.

"Babe, you..." George was about to finish his sentence when he was interrupted by her turning on him. Apparently she didn't like to be interrupted when she was having a conversation with herself.

"Shut your face!" Myra snapped at him. "Come with me George. We need to find this fucker. He has crossed the line."

Myra and George leave the house to go find The Joker and possibly kill him. Fred looks at Alice. All of his drugged up thoughts were gone when he looked down at her, now he thought clearly. He fears the worst for her. He fears that whatever happened a few hours ago while he was unconscious affected her to a point to where she will be scared of everyone, including him. But that can't be the case, considering her father and her twisted life, she could take a lot. A few hours pass and Fred just watches her, wondering what to do. He'd never had to go through this kind of thing before and he didn't even know what had happened, only that that his girlfriend went to take a shower and the next thing he knew he was out cold. Slowly Alice awoke again.

As she laid there wrapped in a fluffy pink towel on the couch, she stared at the ceiling, thinking about what she did. She thought, 'What have I done? It was so wrong, yet so pleasurable.' She turns her head to see Fred watching her. Those green eyes staring at her, making her feel like she was important to the world, his world. The look of concern was written all over his youthful face and she didn't know what she could do to take it off. She looks the other way. She starts to cry, thinking, remembering what happened.

Oh what a horrible thing she had done and she couldn't help but feel guilty for it. How could she do that to Fred? What's more, how could The Joker do that to her? He knew all too well that the moment she looked into his eyes; she'd obey him no matter how stupid his request was or how terrible it could be. She was lucky to have someone as loyal as Fred around in her life. All her life she'd never been able to have the simple touch of a man, or even human contact until she went to Hogwarts because of her 'problem'. As Fred held her, comforting her, the mere feeling of his hand going up and down on her back only made her love for Fred grow. It amazed her how understanding and patient he could be. Slowly she looked into his eyes and admired the color of them. They were so loving that she couldn't resist the urge to kiss him so she did it, but in a teasing manner. She did this on purpose because she knew that he just wanted to snog her senseless when it came to it but the wait drove him nuts.

Unexpectedly, he reached behind her head and pulled her lips back to his making sure to press them hard together. Suddenly she found herself entangling her arms around his neck and then grabbing handfuls of his scalp to pull his face away from hers. "I love it when you do this to me."

"I love it when I'm able to make you feel better," he replied. He crashed his lips to hers and made sure that the two of them wouldn't be able to breathe. Oh how he loved the taste of her mouth, the softness of her lips and how forceful and demanding she would become. Sometimes she scared him at how demanding she became, but he loved every minute of her torturing him.

At some point his shirt left his body and her nails lightly scratched his back, bringing that tingly feeling he loved so much. Her hands roamed all over his body as if it were new territory for her to explore even though she'd explored every inch of his body already. Stopping her momentarily he locked eyes with her and reached for her hands and led her to their bedroom. The moment the door closed they were at it like animals. Quickly her hands worked on his belt buckle while his worked on simply taking her towel. In seconds they stood completely naked in front of each other.

Fred took all of her into his eyes like eye candy. At times he wondered how the hell he became as lucky as to have her as his girlfriend, and soon to be fiancée. Then he remembered how it wasn't he and George who came up to Alice and her sister, Myra, it was the other way around and they were looking for mischief. Oh how the thought of the four of them doing mischief together turned him on even more. Slowly he closed the short distance between them and lightly touched her arm, making sure to trace his fingers slowly over her delicate skin.

The moment he touched her set her skin on fire. Right away she wanted to pounce on him, leaving all form of decency behind. Yet she remained still, calm, collective, knowing full well that the longer she waited the more pleasure there would be. He made her lay down on the bed, from her knees to her feet hung off the bed, making sure to use the edge of the bed to her advantage. She looked into his eyes and saw purely love. Any other woman would believe it to be lust but she'd looked into his soul before and knew it to be otherwise. His boyish charm merely added to the sexiness of his being. Alice reached up and cupped his face with her right hand. As if on cue, Fred leaned down and kissed her deeply. He reminded her of apples and sugar.

As much as he wanted to hold out on their foreplay, he was a man still and Alice just touching any piece of his skin drove him to the point of a purely animalistic good fuck. He would know, she'd told him. Waiting no longer, he slowly opened her legs and put the tip of his length at her entrance. The second he broke the kiss he looked into her eyes and thrust hard into her, making her release a pure cry of pleasure. Her warm body felt good around his rock hard shaft, like smooth velvet or silk. Even though he'd only slept with one other person before they even met, Fred knew that it was her demonic side that made her unique above all other women and there was no other like her. A few seconds went by until he could feel her putting her feet at the edge of the bed and her arms wrapped around his torso. He felt her lips touch his ear and a single word escaped them. Please.

Barely on the verge of control, he started a slow rhythm that was soon matched by her. The more he thrust into her the deeper he went and feeling her quiver beneath him. Her hot sex contracted around him every time he filled her and he had to go faster. What seemed like forever drew on. Every thrust he made brought them both closer to their climax. Words started coming out of her mouth at random. Fred knew he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer so he quickened his pace, making sure to hit the right spot.

She was going mad. Truly, insanely mad. The more he pumped inside her the closer she was to the edge of sanity. Being half demon was a pain in the ass, but it did have it's pro's as well as the cons. Since she was half demon, and psychic to boot, her senses of both pleasure and pain were intensified. Only her physical pain would become pleasure beyond mortal thoughts.

Without warning, she flipped him over and straddled him, thrusting hard against him and making him moan like crazy. As she rocked her hips back and forth she could feel herself start to cum. Faster, and faster and harder and harder she rode him until she finally saw white light and reached her peak, somehow bringing Fred with her to that point in time where their hearts were beating in sync. Not bothering to get off him she lay on his chest and felt his heavy breathing beneath her. There was never bliss like this before she met her Fred.


	4. Chapter 4

**Why So Serious Chapter 4: Don't Wake Channard!**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Hellraiser, don't own Harry Potter, don't own Warlock (there's a reference in there, see if you can find it), don't own Debra Messing (cuz there's a look she gives in the 'starter wife' and I love using it), don't own Jack Sparrow, don't own Muse, don't own transformers, don't own Rammstein, and do not sue me, I just use those characters. What I do own: Alice and Myra and the plot.

**AN:** Again, I'd like to thank Zerousy for not only being my beta/editor/co-writer, but for scolding me for not writing sooner. Without you, this story would probably suck ass. Also, sorry for the long wait people, here's chapter 4.

Remember people, if you want more details on Alice and Myra go to Zerousy's page and read her story "Open The Gate: A Story on Pinhead's Daughters". **Warning people; if you're looking for a lemon, not in this chapter. If you don't like cussing, too bad. Joker not in here too much.**

****28 days later****

Alice and Myra sat on the comfortable black leather couch, using all of their concentration for what they were doing. If one of them blinked, it would all be over. The air was thick with so much tension that, if the two girls choose to, they could actually cut it with a butter knife. Ah, the benefits of being half demons and unnaturally gifted was gratifying; but now was not the time for them to care about their almost unlimited powers. If anything, now was the time to see which one could burn the others eyes out through a starring contest.

"Blink," Myra said, scrunching her (currently) black eyes.

Alice shook her head in defiance; her sky blue hair moving with the movement, showing yet again, that she was as stubborn as her twin sister. "No! You blink! I am not having my eyes burned out again." She did not want to be a looser today, even if she won most of the time doing THIS game.

If possible, Myra gave the best Debra Messing look to show her disbelief. "But you burned MY EYES out last time! I had to get the bucket and stick my head in it because you used it on high! It's YOUR turn."

"No," Alice argued, "I don't want to! It hurts! My eyes bleed."

"That's the point," Myra said, wishing she could roll her eyes. If she did though, Alice might blink and she'd miss her chance to do the bleeding eye trick that their good old buddy old pal taught them. "First we bleed each other's eyes out, then we get the bucket if it's THAT bad and stick our heads in it and wait for the blood to fill it up so our bleeding will clog, and then we proceed to go get some ice cream," Myra countered logically. She knew her sister's weaknesses, all too well unfortunately. They were 'special' twins after all. Hell, all Alice had to do was poke her finger and both of them would bleed. All Myra had to do was hit herself over her head (which was often) and Alice would feel it.

Alice's (currently) purple eyes widened in excitement at the mention of sweets; that was the five year old part of her kicking in. "I like ice cream!"

"Yes. I know this," Myra drawled on. "You eat four gallons of cookies and cream AND proceed to eat MY four gallons of chocolate chip cookie dough when I'm not looking. Let's not forget that when we order fifty pizzas to split between the two of us, you try and sneak one of MY pizzas on to your table! Just because we have almost an endless appetite does NOT MEAN you're allowed to eat MY FOOD. JUST BECAUSE─" Myra was cut off as the door swung open in the living room.

Fred and George walked through the door carrying boxes of nick-knacks to use in their latest experiments. "WERE'RE BACK!" the twins sang in unison. They set the boxes down and sat on either side of us, Fred grabbing Alice's attention.

Her eyes landed on Fred's face and she smiled widely at her fiancée. "Damn it," she heard Myra curse. "I was this close!" she muttered. She had a good feeling that her sister was using her fingers to show George how close she was to getting her to blink. Myra was just as sneaky as herself.

"So ladies, what─," George began.

"─have you been up to?" Fred finished. Both the girls thought it was cute when they finished each other's sentences.

Alice began to tell them about the conversation she and Myra had about one particular memory involving rum. "Well, oh, Myra, did you want to tell them about that one day when hell was literally on earth? You're better at words than I am." Without even bothering to get an answer first she turned around to face Myra, leaned back into Fred's firm chest and looked expectantly at her sister for her to start the story. Every memory was a story to her.

Myra shook her head and chuckled at the look on her sister's face. Typical Alice, always looking for a story when her brain decided to kick into child-like mode. She released a sigh and began the tale of when their father, Pinhead, literally 'let loose' on earth several years back when his soul was separated from his demonic self at the time.

"Well, let me just start by saying that we were bored one day. We were so bored, that when we looked in our cabinets for some alcohol to drink while watching the news, I realized that we had no rum. Yes, rum I say. We love rum. So we went out and looked for a bar…"

****Flashback****

"Myra, where's the rum gone?" Alice asked her better half as she proceeded to look through one cabinet after another for the good shit. Fuck beer, they wanted rum!

"Gone?" Myra asked, slightly surprised. "I just bought 30 kegs!" She scratched her head in thought. "Why is the rum always gone?"

Their thoughts clicked simultaneously as the answer came to them and they knew the other knew as well. There was only one reason why the rum would be gone. "Jack Sparrow," they said in unison.

Myra just shook her head. "You know, for a ghost of several hundred years you'd think he'd realize he's dead. It's not like he can drink it."

"Yeah. But I want rum!"

"Easy girl, there's always a bar. I heard about this club though from the guy that I bought the kegs from, mind you he thought I worked at this club called 'The Boiler Room'. That's the only place that stalks up on alcohol like what I was buying. Why don't we go there? Heard it's right down our alley," the better half suggested.

Alice thought about that for a second, her scattered mind trying to remember if she'd missed the club on the way home earlier. "Really? Cuz I didn't see it when I got back from the 7-11 after getting twelve boxes of Twinkies and ding-dongs. The clerk had her eyes popped open when I'd already gone through the first four in like, 2 minutes."

Shaking her head and slapping her hand to her forehead Myra sighed. "I meant it has dark, demonic, and horrifying art as its theme."

The shape of an 'o' formed on Alice's lips. "I like art."

"Yes, I know you do. As do I. Let's go."

Grabbing her keys and two helmets to her white motorcycle, Myra put on her green jacket, grabbed Alice's hand, and proceeded to head out to the garage. When they reached the motorcycle, Alice grabbed her helmet and put it on; Myra mimicked the action as she pressed a button on the remote and the garage door opened. They both got on and as Myra revved the engine, Alice latched her arms around her sister.

It only took several minutes before they reached their destination. When both were off the bike Myra leaned in closely to it and started to whisper to it, almost like it was alive. Scratch that, it IS alive. "Now remember my little decepticon, if ANYONE so much as touches you, you shock the fuck out of them or so help me, I will make sure you don't run AT ALL!" the last words were forceful. How she got her hands on a transformer that obeys her, let alone a Decepticon, no one knows.

As the twins entered into the club, the loud music vibrated throughout their bodies, making smiles creep up on their faces. "Shall we?" Myra asked Alice telepathically, though she knew the answer already.

"LETS DANCE!" her twin replied.

After about two hours of drinking the bar empty of their stock of rum and dancing wildly to the live rock band that was playing, the two just sat down at the bar for a few minutes, not a drop of sweat on them. The slightly chubby bartender came back around to them and asked what they'd like. "I'll have six glasses of Rum, two shots of Jack Daniels, and leave the bottle of Vodka," Myra said, Alice nodding excitedly in agreement.

The bartender's eyes widened dramatically at the order. "Miss, I think that's too much, surely you'd like a beer or something else. You've had five bottles of rum between you and your friend here already."

Alice narrowed her eyes at the stupid human man. She wanted Rum and Vodka _NOW_. And when she sets her mind on something, she goes through with it; screw everything else going on or that matters. She pulls out $500 and sets it on the bar. "This should cover it, right Barbie?" she questioned, her voice going dark and deep with annoyance. She felt momentarily glad that Myra chose to ignore the insult she'd just given the man and not hit her own head (making Alice feel it) for punishment.

Suddenly the bartender's eyes widened as he looked behind her and a smooth, deep voice came from the same direction. "Come on Clyde; let the ladies have their drinks. I'm sure they can handle themselves." Alice turned around and was met with the most ridiculous hair-do ever, come on, a pompadour. Instantly she wanted to kill it. The face that came with it was another story. The guy had a strong chin, enchanting eyes that seemed to draw whoever looked at them in and lips to die for. The next thing she knew a red rose was in front of her face.

She blinked a couple of times, wondering if this handsome devil was real. "For me?" She asked quietly.

A dashing smile creased his lips. "I only give them to the most beautiful girl in here. And tonight, you're the winner."

The biggest smile landed itself right on Alice's face when she'd heard that he called her beautiful. "Who are you?" she asked in a dreamy voice.

The sound of his voice when he laughed at her question vibrated through her very core. "You don't know?" Her head merely shook 'no' in response. "I'm JP Monroe, owner of the fine little paradise known as 'The Boiler Room'."

"You own it?!" her voice exclaimed. When she turned to ask Myra if she knew anything about it Myra was not seated at the bar any longer; instead, she was on the dance floor with the bottle of Vodka in one hand a glass of Rum in the other looking like she was having a good time. _'Figures she'd take the Vodka and leave me with a man that I can't even touch'_ she thought gloomily.

When JP's hand rested on hers as he gave her the rose Alice immediately expected to see his body parts ripped everywhere, right in front of everyone. The strange thing was that nothing happened. Nothing at all. _'Weird'_ she wondered, _'It's almost like what happened to my first boyfriend who somehow DIDN'T die once I claimed his soul'_. "Maybe we could talk; I know a private room where it's quieter. Would you join me?" he asked suavely.

Automatically her mind thought _hot guy plus me equals a very happy day_. So she took his outstretched hand and he led her through the masses of people to a darkened side of the dance room where a door was. Removing a key from his pocket, he slid it into the lock and shoved the door open and led her in. Needless to say, when the door closed they fucked like rabbits.

(AN: told you no lemon, lol)

***

Back where Myra was, she was sitting at the bar, AGAIN, and drinking a White Russian to switch things up a bit. Ah, the taste of alcohol sent her taste buds going. She was definitely getting another one. Alice was right for once, she needed to 'let loose' for once, screw responsibility, this was wonderful. Of course she made sure not to touch anyone because a) she didn't feel like cleaning up body parts when someone died by touching her, b) she didn't feel like claiming souls, c) she was pretty sure that Alice was not going to help clean up willingly, and d) too many witnesses.

So she continued to drink her heart out, or in this case, her responsibility. Several alcoholic beverages and a glass of wine later she was out on the dance floor partying in a very secluded spot in the back bouncing up and down and head banging to the beat of whatever song was going. _'Why the fuck am I so up-tight again?'_ she pondered. _'You know, Alice was right. I need to 'let loose' more often.'_ And with that, she drunk, danced and partied. Again, good thing she was only half human, otherwise the alcohol in her blood would have killed her years ago.

With a never ending supply of blood from the victims of the cenobites in hell she couldn't bleed out and die, with an almost endless stomach she could go months without needing to eat if she ate enough and last but not least, neither of them could die because they shared a soul; short explanation, if only 1 dies they will grow back from whatever body part that's leftover (even if it's a hair), if both die, Pinhead sends them back up. So it's a win-win situation. Also, Pinhead hates his daughters enough to send them back up because they annoy the fuck out him.

***

After the sex, which sucked for Alice, standing in his black tank-top shirt she gazed at his art pieces of torment and evil and was reminded of home, not the home she was living in, but in hell. She hated it and she loved it at the same time, for that's where everything about her and Myra began. But that story's for another time.

While she noticed how no piece of art was the same, many of them had pretty much the same theme, death, torment, pain, rage and evil with no limit. That was until her eyes landed on a statue that she'd not noticed before. A very strange statue that gave off a feeling of familiarity to her. _'Why does that thing look familiar??? It looks like…fuck; it looks like father without his fucking pins! It even feels like evil…OH MY GOD, DID IT JUST OPEN IT'S EYES????? FUCK, it is him! Figures why the bastard didn't get torn to shreds, he's working for dad.'_

She didn't know how long she stared at that statue but someone was talking to her and that drew her attention back to JP. "Are you even listening to me you dumb bitch? I said give me back my shirt and get the hell out of here!" he yelled.

"But-but the rose!" Alice started, trying to see what she did wrong, plus she thought he liked her. Disappointment was famous on her personality list and she would at least like to know what happened before she left.

JP wasn't listening though. All he cared about was the sex and as soon as he was done with her he wanted her gone. "I give them to a girl every night and do the same thing. Are you deaf? Give me back my shirt bitch and leave or so help me I will take it from you and kick you out myself!" he threatened.

'_WHAT?! Oh, HELL NO!'_ she thought, giving him an evil look, wondering if her eyes were black with rage yet. She took one more glance at the statue that held her father and noticed that his eyes were staring at her until they closed again quickly. Her gaze returned to JP. "You know what? Everything you own is going to hell, and in less than 48 hours, you're gunna die." With that she grabbed her pants, put them on and left still wearing his shirt. She got Myra and they left the club for the night.

****End Flashback****

"Fred, George, let's just say that two days later, we came back to get shit-faced and one minute we were drinking and dancing, the next everybody there was dead," Myra finished.

Needless to say that both the twins had wide eyes by the end of the tale, actually believing every word of it because they knew the girls were more than they seemed. Suddenly, Fred spoke up. "I want to go to hell!"

Alice turned around and looked him in the eye as if he was crazy. "What? Are you insane?"

"You can't possibly be asking us to die!" Myra stated, her mind automatically assuming the worst. There was no way in hell she was killing her boyfriend and her future brother-in law.

"No! Not like that!" George answered. The girls looked to him now for an explanation. He took out his wand and started playing with it nervously as he prepared to ask his question. "Fred and I were just wondering what it's like down there, you know, since you guys talk about it so much. We just want to visit. Plus, haven't you mentioned that it's been ages since you've been down there?" His eyes traveled to his shoes as he waited for them to answer.

Both of them thought this over quickly. In Myra's opinion, it HAD been a long time since they visited hell. A long while, really. Probably since before they met the boys. Yup, a LONG time. That and she wanted to know what were the chances of her room (both girls have their own room in hell because they're badass) being clean. Not likely. Especially since it was Piston Head's (JP's) and Dreamer's (Terry's) favorite place to shag. Why you ask? Not even they know. Maybe because it's the only _clean _room in hell. _'God, I hope they didn't fuck in my room AGAIN. I'm sick of cleaning up after them like I do Alice. Well, at least she doesn't bring her men in my room at least, but I still have to clean up her messes when she screws something up.'_ Ok, it was time to go for a visit.

Alice, on the other hand, had simpler reasons for going to hell now that the idea was put in her head. _'I need to feed chatterbeast. I bet everyone forgot to give him his doggy treats I sent him for Christmas last year! Oh, and I can show Fred my room, I can go say hi to mommy (Angelique), I can bitch at the double-mint sluts (wire-twins) if they even think about touching my man, I can listen to my CD's that CD gave me, I can ask Barbie for some of his special drink mixes….'_ And so the list went on in her head.

Letting a sigh escape her lips, Myra looked from George to Fred repeatedly as she prepared to give them the rules they had to follow, since yes, they were going to go to hell with her and Alice. "Ok, we'll take you guys with us to hell." Just as Fred and George were about to high-five each other, Myra put her finger up. "THERE ARE RULES FIRST. Don't give me those looks! You know I don't like rules as much as you guys but there is absolutely the NUMBER ONE RULE YOU MUST NOT BREAK, for if you do, we could all die. Well, you could die; Alice and I could just be shred to a million trillion billion pieces and put back together. The number one rule that you MUST OBEY at ALL COSTS is this: **DON'T. WAKE. CHANNARD**. He does _NOT_ like to be woken up from sleeping. I'm serious; if you wake this guy up he will go 'Sonne' on your ass. If you have no clue what that is, watch Rammstein's Sonne music video. Snow White spanks one of the giant dwarf's! If you still think I'm not being serious, Uncle Channard will wake up, turn into Till Lindemann of Rammstein and become the Gorilla-Terminator and go ape-shit on you! So DO NOT WAKE HIS ASS UP!"

"Yeah, Till has a laser on his eye!" Alice piped up excitedly, her silky blue locks of hair moving as she nodded her head. God, she wanted those goggles that Till had. Again, her mind wandered to random places.

Both Fred and George looked Myra in the eyes and asked the same question at the same time. "Gorilla-Terminator?" they said in unison, turning to each other and back to her for greater detail.

"Don't ask," she waved off, closing one of her eyes as she did so, reminding herself to check and see if her Rammstein CD's are still intact and not dog toys by now. "It's a LONG story. Anyway, are you guys ready now that you know the number one rule?"

Fred reached over to the wooden table and grabbed a box of 'berty bots, every flavor beans' and stuffed them into his pocket. George dug his right hand into the box they'd brought home with them until he retrieved a small wrapped package of what appeared to be taffy, though knowing those two, it was more than just mouthwatering candy. "Aren't there any more 'rules' that you want to tell us _'mum'_," Fred snickered playfully.

That was the wrong thing to say, for he received a specialized Myra trademark slap behind the head that felt like a baseball bat instead of a hand. "I'm not your mother! She's a very nice lady and I admire that she can keep seven children in line but I do not like people comparing other people to well, other people! And to answer your question, no, that's just the main one. I'll tell you the rest when we get down there."

George was glad he kept his mouth shut. A flashback appeared in his head from the previous week, for he had been victim to one of Myra's slaps behind the head before, and that was just because he called her 'pretty'. He had no clue as to why the woman could not take a complement but could take an insult like being called 'bitch' proudly. His girlfriend may be weird about complements and insults, but she was amazing as a person none the less. Out of nowhere, George suddenly wondered how they were even going to get to hell. Were they going to commit some form of sacrifice? Crack open a wall that holds a vortex to hell? Slip through space and time? "Myra…" his voice whispered. As she got up from her spot on the couch she looked back to George, signaling him to continue with a quirk of her eyebrow and a slight tilt of her head. The feeling of dread started to come over him as he thought of the possibilities of what her answer could be. Granted he liked breaking rules, but if going there had to do with murder…. "How are we going to go to hell?"

A very bright smile (which was rare) formed on her lips, as if to mock him and say she knew what he was thinking though he knew she couldn't read minds. She hadn't gotten that power in her many, many years of life. "George isn't it obvious?" she asked politely. The muscles in his neck tensed slightly as he feared the worse and shook his head lightly. A double voiced laugh escaped her throat in response and it made him jump. When she spoke again, her voice was normal. "We're using floo powder."

This time Alice was the one to speak up. "BUT I WANT TO USE THE BROOMSTICK! How come you always get to make the decisions, Myra?"

"First off, **a)** we can't _fly_ to hell for fuck's sake, **second)** we broke our other brooms last time we tried and **c)**─"

"Did you just say a, second, and c?"

"Shut up Fred, or I'll have Alice slap you this time!"

"Yeah, shut up Fred! It's always rude to interrupt someone! That's why Myra hits me all the time! OUCH! What was that for?"

"For interrupting Fred, Alice! And you get one too Fred!" Myra smacked both of them over the head twice that received an 'ow' from each of them. When she was done she rubbed the back of her head from the force of the blow she'd given Alice. "Ouch, I forgot to turn the switch off so I wouldn't feel that. Now I know why everyone listens to me all the time," she laughed playfully. "Anyway, as I was saying, lastly, we're using floo powder because it's completely random and I feel like experimenting with the process."

With that she marched over to the fireplace, took her wand out of the pocket of her long white trench coat and cast a fire spell on the fireplace. The other's joined her around the fire as they each grabbed a handful of floo powder. Alice raised her hand and looked at Myra with a pleading look in her eyes. Myra sighed heavily. "Yes, Alice?"

"I want to go first."

"Then be my guest. Do you remember what to say to get there?"

"Uhh….Grandpa's place?"

"Um, no."

"Mr. Penny-head's house of pain?"

"WHO??? Oh, you mean dad. Um, no. That's not what you say."

"House of a cranky cenobite?"

"Are you making this shit up to waste time?" Myra questioned, though surprisingly she was not mad. If anything, she was enjoying this little game.

"Dr. Channard's cenobite's gone wild house of loony untamable random wet bed accidents in Myra's room?"

Both George and Fred gave a disgusted look. "You wet the bed?" George asked her.

She merely rolled her eyes. "No, that would be Alice here. She's referring to the fact that cenobites love to fuck in my bed and NOT CLEAN UP THE FUCKING MESS!!!"

"I do not wet the bed!"

"Yes you do."

"That was ONE TIME!"

"Ok, fine whatever! Let's just hurry up already! And no, that is not what you say."

"Is it─"

"SHUT UP or I swear to god, I will take away all your wizard points! It's _'Leviathan's Hell'_, ok?"

"You can't do that! OK!" Alice said as if she'd been given fifteen cups of caffeine while bouncing up and down. "LEVIATHAN'S HELL," she yelled as she threw the powder in the fire. Right as the fire consumed her, she landed flat on her ass in a dark hallway of hell. Her ass hurt so bad that she heard Myra scream from the other world! _"Hmmm…imagine that,"_ she thought. A few seconds later she was joined by the other three.

Alice got up off the floor and dusted her butt off. A grey cloud of dust formed around her as she continued to swipe her butt and the process made Myra start to cough, which caught Alice's attention. "Oh! Sorry Myra. I forgot you're allergic to smoke and dust," she apologized. "I got to remember that the next time we come here using that mode of transportation," she whispered quietly so as to not wake up Channard. Her random thoughts went back to the last time they woke up 'uncle' Channard; there were cenobite bodies everywhere. Guess who had to put them back together?

Fred and George looked around the labyrinth and were slightly disappointed, though they knew they should have expected as much. Not all forms of hell have fire. "Ok guys," Alice whispered. "You two go with Myra, she'll show you around. I've got to go talk to my mommy Angelique. Bye!" And with that she stormed off without even hearing Fred's plea for a kiss good-bye.

Myra turned to the twins. "Now remember boys, what's the number one rule?" Myra asked once more, just to make sure they didn't fuck this trip up. Her body was positioned to face them and she had an accusing finger pointed in their direction.

"Don't wake Channard," they said in a quiet, bored tone. "But seriously, can we GO now? We want to sight see!" George requested enthusiastically. She merely chuckled a bit and shook her head a little which made her currently acid green bangs (all her hair on her head was green) fall over her eyes then led them down the nearest hallway while explaining the rest of the rules to them.

***

Alice was wondering down one of the many halls, a slab of meat in her hand ready for when she found her doggy as she went and looked for her mom. It was always her job to feed Chatterbeast a slab of meat; otherwise he'd chew her leg when he saw her. It's not that Chatterbeast didn't like Alice, he loved her. It's just that no one ever feeds him and she's the closest thing to food if she doesn't come with meat for him. Taking another left past Butterball's room, which smelled, she heard familiar chattering, but couldn't guess which of the three it could have been. Was it Chatterer? Chatterbeast? Torso? The sound was coming from her dad's room, so she followed it.

When came to the opening of the small cubical of a room she saw her father, Mr. Pennyhead as she'd currently dubbed him, scolding her precious doggy for something. "How many times do I have to tell you, you stupid beast? My pins are _NOT_ for your amusement! Not only that, you've completely destroyed my knife! It possesses teeth marks now!" Alice did not like how Mr. Pennyhead was treating her dog. So with an ingenious thought that she stole from Myra's brain, and without thinking, she chucked the meat right in Mr. Pennyhead's face, hitting him right in the eye.

"Hey. Bye," she said as she quickly walked away, muttering as she went. "Fucking idiot. Talk to my dog like that? I throw a slab of meat in your face. See how you like that!"

Pinhead looked at the door as he lifted the meat from his eyes. "Was that─" he didn't get to finish talking, since a second later Chatterbeast attacked his face.

As Alice walked some more down the hall she was in, she finally made it to the downstairs steps that led to the level where Angelique's room was located. Before she stepped on that first step she made sure to turn off the freaky twin thing and then proceeded to step. Unfortunately, by the second step, she tripped on crack and tumbled all the way down. Yup, good thing she turned it off. Myra would not appreciate a head injury, no matter how fast it healed. When she reached the bottom step she quickly looked around and dusted her pants off before continuing as if nothing happened.

In moments she was standing before Angelique's door and right when she raised her hand to knock the door swung open, revealing Angelique in her cenobite form. Normally she went around in her human form just to be a slut. "Oh, Alice. I thought you were your father."

Alice shrugged. "No. He's too busy getting his face eaten." Without even waiting to be invited inside she strolled in there looking at her mother's room. It was the third biggest room in hell and it was surprisingly furnished with current day items. Then she felt the familiar sharp slap behind her head from getting hit.

"How many times have your sister and I told you not to be rude?" Angelique asked, mimicking Myra's usual stance of having her arms crossed over her chest.

"Uhhhh……how long has Myra been my twin?" she asked, completely hating the fact that she couldn't remember how long Myra had been around for. After all, they were one person at first then they split up her soul and made Myra the better half. Even doing simple adding and subtracting was complicated.

Angelique's pitch black eyes rolled up in annoyance, then she shuddered as she had a flashback. "A long time. I'd know, I gave birth to that woman's body after your grandfather Leviathan finally remembered that I'm the only one who can still have a human form and is even able to produce a shell for your other half's soul. I swear, I'm never giving birth again. Hate the experience."

Alice's eyes started to tear up. To her that sounded like she regretted having Myra. "But you love Myra, don't you mommy?" her voice nearly cracked. "She's the good one!"

"Oh! No, of course I love her, though I'm not supposed to. I'm not supposed to love you either but I do. You're both my girls, even though technically neither of you are really mine, but I'm not going to bother confusing you on that. See, you've already forgotten."

"Forgotten what?" Alice asked confused.

"What I just said."

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing dear. Now, what'd you come here for?" Angelique diverted. No need to have Alice in tears over something as superficial as Alice not being her 'real' daughter. Then again, Myra was only her 'blood' daughter because she helped make her body. The soul came from someone who was already alive.

Alice had to think about why she came here in the first place. After about a good five minutes and six packs of red bull later she remembered. "Oh! Mom, I just wanted to tell you about the person on my ceiling in my room."

A quiet sigh escaped Angelique's lips. "Honey, that's Torso. You know this."

"NO! Not him. Someone else."

"What do you mean? No one else is in your room. I would know, I go in there to make sure your dad doesn't come in when you're not around."

A giggle escaped Alice's lips as silly thoughts ran through her head. "He wouldn't want to know what's in there."

"That's why I keep him out. But seriously, there's no one in there but Torso."

Alice got up from her spot on the bed and stood in front of her mother and stomped on her foot for emphasis. "Mom, just hear me out. There's a man in my room, and he looks scared with his blue eyes…"

***

Myra was just showing the boys around the hall where their rooms were. All the doors looked the same on the outside with the exception of the different numbers but on the inside, things were different. They arrived at Myra's door, which was labeled '61' and she opened the door. On the inside, it appeared to be like any other room the boys had seen with the exception of the hooks and chains hanging on the ceiling. The walls were green and black alternating in color but the ceiling remained black and appeared to be almost dome-shaped. What appeared to be bars and boards consisted at the top of the room and they looked to be able to support someone to hang from there. "This is my room. Now you've seen it. The one directly across it is Alice's, number '62'. It's a pig sty in there but you'd have to be crazy to go in there."

Just as she finished saying that, the twins raced across the hall and slammed the door open. What was inside shocked them. There were clothes _everywhere_ and in piles about five feet high. And not just any clothes, but all forms of clothing. Men's clothes, women's, boys, girls, and whatever else there could be. From dirty to clean, used to new, torn to perfection, and rainbow socks flooding the floor. Shoes everywhere and possibly had not mate within reach. Garbage, knick knacks, food, CD's, electronics, the band Muse's cardboard cut outs, posters and DVDs. This room made their mothers' house look clean. "Yeah, so this is Alice's pig sty. She's always got─ hey! That's my CD!" Myra ran inside the room and fetched her Rammstein CD 'Mutter'. But as she turned around, the twins had disappeared.

***

"Fred, let's try this door."

"Why this door? It probably going to be like all the others. Personal hells."

"But this one has a sign. 'Keep Out, Frank's Hell'."

"Well then, what kind of rebels would we be if we didn't break the rules?" Fred said.

They pushed the door open, took a quick look around and their eyes landed on a skinless man looking at sheets on beds. He was covered in blood and appeared to be moaning. With quickness, they closed the door before they threw up.

"Seriously mate, that was disgusting! We should have followed the rules!" Fred said disgusted.

"Note to self, follow rules in hell."

"Truly," he agreed.

After about a half hour worth of wandering around, they finally came to a door with no number on it. They looked at each other, shrugged, then proceeded to walk inside. There was no warning on the outside so they didn't have any reason to _not_ go in. But when they opened that door, they saw their worst fears. The most horrible thing in the world was happening before their eyes; they saw themselves trying to make people happy and laugh, but they were ignored. No one noticed them and everyone was so grumpy. Then they felt it; the cold hardness of the world. There was no laughter, no joy, and no happiness. Just the cold dark wasteland of stuck up people.

Quickly they shut the door and ran off in a random direction. Soon they found some stairs leading up. They quickly ran up them, jumping two at a time and managed to not fall down. Soon enough, they reached the top of the entire labyrinth and saw the dark crystal in the sky. When the black light that was generated from the object hit them, they saw everything they saw in the room. Seconds, maybe hours passed by until the scene ended and they found themselves by the edge that had a long drop down. "What a dozy," George commented. "Wouldn't want to fall down there Fred."

Fred turned his head to look at George. An evil thought passed through his head but he quickly dismissed it. George's thoughts were the same. But the temptation was too great not to ask. "Wanna jump?" they said together. Both of the laughed at their ridiculous thoughts. Suddenly, a giant box like thing popped out of nowhere. "Whoa…" they whispered.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," said Myra.

Both of them ran over to Myra and hugged her tightly. They'd never been so glad to see someone remotely normal. "Myra, where were you?" George asked.

"Looking for you two. Come on, let's go."

Just as the three of them turned around, they saw a woman with dark hair, pale skin and she was wearing a blue dress. "Leaving so soon?" the woman asked. Her voice sounded dark and treacherous. In fact, she was a snake in a hen house.

"Go away Julia!" Myra said as she grabbed both the boys' hands and started leading them away.

"Not so fast Snow White."

"I AM NOT A DRUGGIE HO!" Myra yelled, thinking of Rammstein at the moment. "You know what? YOU are a druggie ho! First you want to fuck your husband, then you want to fuck his brother? God that's just disgusting. Then after you backstab Frank, you go with Channard! You are one sick woman." And with that, she pushed Julia into the cenobite maker. In the background, she could hear Fred and George golf clapping. "Oh yeah, that's just nice, you go ahead and clap. Let's GO! We'll talk later about you running off!"

"It was Fred's idea," George argued.

"What!!!" Fred yelped.

Myra hit them both over the back of their heads and proceeded to run off back towards Alice. The twins in tow.

***

"Mom, I don't even know what a chemistry set is," Alice said as she looked at the small suitcase, her hands in her pockets fiddling with one of her knives. The cool blade felt good against her skin.

Angelique unlocked the small suitcase that sat between them and it reviled all sorts of colors (chemicals). "Here, just open it up. See? You can mix all these chemicals and make things!" Angelique said excitedly.

Alice's eyes grew wide at the sight of all the pretty colors, though she had no clue what they were. "COOL! I like that pink color. The pink color is nice. You think my blue-eyed friend would like it?"

One of Angelique's pale white hands rested on a part of her forehead that was covered in skin. "Dear, there's only Torso up there. There is no guy with blue eyes up there."

Alice looked down at her feet in sadness. "Yes there is.." she whispered. "I'm not THAT crazy."

Just then, Myra and the boys came into Angelique's room, and Myra was pissed. Angelique didn't feel like upsetting Myra so she remained quiet while the boys had fear on their faces and Alice continued to examine her new present. A few minutes went by in this manner and then Pinhead, Chatterer, Butterball, Female, JP, and Dreamer into the room. Unfortunately for them, Myra was about to burst.

Myra turned to Pinhead. "You fucking pin faced motherfuck!" Pinhead was about to reply about her insulting him but Myra cut him off. "No! You shut up! You know what? You would have been all good and everything, you would have been a great guy but you JUST HAD TO FIND THE BOX. And you had to know what's inside. Now look at you fucking ugly son of a bitch." She had her finger pointed and let's just say that these guys almost shit their pants. She turned to Butterball with a vengeance. "AND YOU! Worthless. Brainless. Oh my god. Don't even get me started on you, you worthless piece of shit! Who did you kill? Huh? Who did you kill? NO ONE! Why? Because you are FAT and SLOW! You have shit for brains and to tell you the truth, you're not even threatening. You know, if you hadn't of opened the box, you'd be at a fast food restaurant stuffing your fucking face you fat ass!" Then she set her eyes on JP and she became even angrier at the thought of him in her room. "AND YOU OF ALL PEOPLE! Actually, you're more attractive this way because you don't have that fucked up hairdo that you did when you were mortal. What the hell is that thing in your head? What is it??? You know what? You know what? I don't even CARE what it is. And you know what's even more pathetic? You didn't even open the box. But you tried to get your stupid ass girlfriend sucked into the fucking statue and look where it got you. Look where it got you. You know what? I don't even wanna, you know, fuck you. And a side note: STOP FUCKING IN MY ROOM!" Then she turned on Dreamer. "You know what? I have no sympathy for you." Myra made that especially cold. With ice on top. Then she turned to Female. "YOU-oh my god, stupid little whore! You think it's funny? You think it's funny that you were just a sweet little nun that just decided to think 'oh, I think it's a good idea for me to fuck everybody'. You know what? I'm GLAD you opened the box. Now you know how everyone feels. Be just as alone and so cold and empty inside." Her eyes landed on Chatterer. Oh, she'd been dying to say this. "You stupid little KID. What are you, like, 13 when you fucking opened the box? You know what? If you hadn't have opened the box, you MIGHT have had a chance with Alice, you stupid little shit! You know what? Everything I'm about to say relates TO YOU!"

Myra had to take a DEEP breath. "Shit for luck, plus shit for brains with shitty timing added to a shitty day in a shit hole with a shitty mouth when the shit hits the fan and shit out of luck saying oh shit when you gotta take a shit while some shit head yells where's my fucking shit, this is shit man, I can't take this shit, dude that's a piece of shit, and this is some crazy shit, no shit Sherlock, that's a pile of shit, get your shit off my desk because this shit ain't happening and when he thinks he's the shit why don't we go knock the shit out of him when he says holy shit!"

By the end of that rant, Myra was huffing _and_ puffing. And then everybody heard it. That annoying sound coming from the most feared (before this rant) cenobite of all. Channard woke up. Of people to wake him up, MYRA was the one to wake him up after she told EVERYONE, what did she tell them? Don't wake Channard. Unfortunately when he did reach the room, Myra was NOT done ranting. But by now, Alice and the boys had started the fireplace while every cenobite in the room was literally stunned to silence.

Quickly Myra turned to Channard and pointed her finger at him. "AND YOU! YOU ARE ONE UGLY MOTHER─" she was cut off as Fred, George and Alice pulled her through the fireplace and landed back in their house. They all landed one by one on the floor on top of each other.

They took a few minutes to get over the fall and Myra relaxing. As Alice looked up over at the table, wondering if there was any food around because god forbid she not be hungry, she noticed something was on the table in the living room.

Standing up and dusting off, Alice walked over to the table and nearly had a heart attack at what she found. A joker card. "Sorry I missed you, see you when the fireworks start. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

**Author's note: PLEASE REIVEW! If you love the fact that my beta Zerousy found a way to include the word 'SHIT' a lot, review. If you hated it, review. If you love it review. If you think I'm a nut case, review. If you think it's a stupid idea that the joker is involved in any Hogwarts activities, review. If you don't like the fact that Alice and Myra are weird and freaky twins, review!!! If you don't like fact we used Rammstein, review! If you don't like the fact that there's so much shit going on, review! If all the above, REVIEW!**

**We worked really, really, really hard on this. A LONG TIME! A whole lot of hellraiser went into this, be thankful.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Why So Serious Chapter 5: It Just So Happens**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but Alice, Myra and the plot. Everything else was just borrowed for the story. Please don't sue me, I don't have anything. Don't own Hellraiser, don't own Harry Potter, don't own the Dark Knight, don't own Muse, don't own Rammstein, don't own Kyle XY, don't own Ebay, don't own Tom and Jerry, and don't own Underworld.

**Author's note:** This is the final chapter for the Fred and George/Joker series. This is where a lot of shit happens all in one chapter. Again, sorry for the long wait, but I needed another kick in the ass to finish this story, not only 1, but 7 total. It is planned that the Alice and Myra chronicles will continue but under a different category. Again, thank you to my beta/editor/buddy Zerousy for helping me out in this. Also, a side note; just remember that you have to go with the flow in this story. For the sake of sanity, pretend God has a cell phone and Alice and Myra have god's number. After all, it IS _FANFICTION!_ **Longest chapter for the whole story.** **Please be nice, Review.**

**Warning: Lemon in this chapter, violence, cussing and random bullshit.**

**[Alice P.O.V.]**

'_No. No that can't be a Joker card. He can't do this to me! I thought we were ok, I thought he was over me. Why did he have to come back into my life?'_ I starred at that stupid card and thought about tearing it to shreds, so I did. I picked it up from the table and ripped it apart into a million, trillion pieces. Well, maybe 20 pieces, but I don't care! Why does this shit always happen to me? Oh god, no, not YOU GOD, don't be calling my cell phone, I'm having a panic attack right now. What am I going to do? I did the only thing I could think of; I asked my sister. "Myra!" I said, though I wasn't sure she could hear me. I sounded quiet even to MY ears. I repeated myself. "Myra," I said again only a little louder this time. The fear was visible in my voice.

Like always, she was by my side in a second. Oh, Myra, what would I do without you? She put both her hands on my face and turned my eyes away from the scattered pieces of paper. I knew I should try and pay attention but it's not in my nature to keep a one-track mind; I simply can't help myself. _'Oooh, confetti. I like confetti. Maybe we should have a party. I can pretend to be a princess!'_ my mind thought. I felt the familiar slap behind my head as Myra knocked some sense into me again. "Alice, get a hold of yourself. You're scared. Your mind is jumping all over the place and I'm just not in the mood to go chasing it. He's not here; it's only a card. Which you terminated by the way." Her brown eyes rolled up as I heard her thoughts think about destroying more than a joker card..hehe..destroy..Oh, she's talking again. Pay attention! "There is no one here. Fred and George already looked through all the rooms and we're alone. You can calm down now."

Oh I wish I could really believe her, but knowing my ex, I should have known from the beginning that he wouldn't have given up on me that easy. He's the Joker for fuck's sake! He can't let things like that just 'go'. No, he has to make a 'point'. Fucking crazy ass motherfuck. "Myra, that's the third time he's come back into our lives in the last few weeks. He's got something up his long purple sleeve that has a small stain on the cuff." Damn I wish he'd clean that stain already, he's had that same stain for years and it's annoying!

From the look on her face she was trying to think of what to do without having me hear her thoughts. She really does care if she doesn't want me to worry. Oh, is Fred saying something? He is just so cute. I'm so glad he's my boyfriend/fiancée. I think I'll mess his hair up today.

**[Fred P.O.V.]**

I think I have to do something. My girlfriend/fiancée is freaking out and I'm the man that's supposed to make her feel better. Damn it and we were having such a great day too! That trip to hell beat making Ron try our latest experiments, then her ex has to ruin it? Bloody hell. Wait a minute, is that a ding I hear? *ding* It's coming to me, I'm getting inspiration. George and I have been planning this for a while now, and Alice does love a good laugh. That's it! I blurted the words out faster than I thought I would. "George and I are opening a joke shop up."

Both the girls looked in my direction; George stared at me like I was an idiot. "What the fuck Fred? She's having a panic attack! All you can think about is jokes?!" George yelled. Clearly he didn't catch on yet.

"I like jokes," Alice said with a bright smile on her face. Yup, completely distracted. I think George and Myra started to catch on from the way Alice was reacting. Distraction good, real good.

"Thank you Alice, since you're the only sensible one the room," I commented her.

That's when Myra's eyes shined with understanding. "Hey! I'm sensible too!"

"No you're not Myra," George added, shaking his head as if she would never be sensible; again he was catching on fast.

"Damn," she whispered as she lowered her head, playing along.

Alice broke away from her sister's grasp and ran over to me and engulfed me in a tight embrace. "You're opening a joke shop? When? You should do it now!" Next she proceeded to mess my neatly combed hair up. Well, I'll live. I can just fix it later.

Then her words started to sink in. "NOW?" I asked, half surprised half amazed. Sometimes I forget just how easy it is for her to be distracted and make new plans from nowhere. Well, now I'm screwed! I have to make her happy. Oh look, she's giving me the puppy dog eyes. And their her normal brown too! She's too cute. "Ok, me and George will start right now."

"RIGHT NOW?!" George shrieked. I noticed Myra use her pinky finger to clear out her ear, considering that George just screamed in it. Then she slapped him in the back of the head. "Ouch!"

"What have I said about screaming in people's ears!" Myra threatened, raising her hand again in preparation in case he gave her the wrong answer. I was grateful that he and I didn't have that freaky twin thing like the girls did. That would hurt me more than him.

"That screaming in people's ears is very rude and to not do it," he whispered, rubbing the back of his head to nurse his wound.

Myra smiled and lowered her hand. "Good boy. I don't want to be a bitch, but I am and I will enforce anti-rudeness. It's bad enough I have to teach Alice these lessons over and over again every day, but you two should know them by now."

"Myra, don't be a mean bitch! Just let them go. I want them to open their joke shop right now! I want to see all the toys and candy and nicks and knacks. I want to know what they'll invent next!"

"Jesus Christ woman! They don't need all that stuff in the joke shop!"

"Why not?"

"Well…because there are toy stores and candy shops that have that kind of stuff in it. London doesn't need another one!"

"Oh."

Myra turned toward me and George and had a smirk on her face. Uh oh. Was that good or bad? "Myra? What are you planning?"

She faked the innocent look as her eyes traveled between me and my brother. Her soft eyes stayed on George a little longer and a piece of her green hair fell from its original spot. George walked over to her and placed it behind her ear. Right as he was about to kiss her she put her finger to his lips and smiled evilly. "You guys better hurry up and go find a place to rent out for the shop. I'm sure Alice won't be too happy without some results soon." Damn woman, she knows we don't like doing homework, and this is definitely homework. I think she loves to torture us sometimes.

I pulled George away from her and noticed the pout on his face. The poor fool, he's in love with the logical one. "Come on George. Let's start looking. I'm sure there must be something in Diagon Alley." And with that we left the girls to the rest of their day. Interesting; the time difference in hell is amazing. It's like we weren't even gone for more than a few minutes. Scratch that, we weren't according to my watch.

**[Myra P.O.V.]**

I have to admit it; George is adorable when he pouts. But it's not my fault that Fred told Alice he'd start looking for a place that would be a good location today. So he can pout all he wants because he's not getting a kiss until Alice is satisfied. Oh, speak of the devil, she's playing with the box again. I strolled over to her and took the box from her hands. "Time for a nap," I said, hoping she'd take the bait.

"But I don't want one!" she groaned. Nice. Now I just have to reel her in.

I rolled my eyes and starred at the ceiling, placing my hands on my hips and tapping my foot and pretending I was irritated while shielding my thoughts from her. "I wasn't talking about _you_! I'M taking a nap and I want to listen to the box make music while I sleep." Wait for it. Wait for it.

I could feel her mind working over these facts. Then she grabbed the box from my hand and gave me the cutest angry look she could muster. "Well what if I want a nap while listening to the box music?" Bingo. We have a winner.

"Well you can't have one. I want one and one of us has to stay up and cook dinner for the boys." Insert psycho music here, I can see the horror on her face at the thought of cooking. Last time she _burned the water_ and got the kitchen on fire without the stove even being on.

"NO! You cook! I'm taking the nap!" With that she ran to her room and locked the door behind her. I love reverse psychology.

I headed over to the kitchen and started plotting what sounded good. Instantly Italian food crossed my mind and I could not help but think of my favorite dish. _'Mmm... carabounara sounds good. I do love noodles.'_ With that I grabbed all the ingredients I would need and started making dinner. I knew it wouldn't take too long to make and it was only 2 P.M. but I was a little hungry anyway, I just have to make sure I leave enough for the guys and Alice.

As I prepped the meat by slicing it thin, my conscience started to get to me. Was it wrong of me to force Alice to take a nap in the hopes of her having good dreams that would make her feel less stressed? Maybe. Then again, she does have Chocolate Factory dreams. So maybe it wasn't a bad idea? I don't know. I'm just the cook, Chatterer is the maid and Angelique is the slut. What a wonderful family…

**[Alice P.O.V.]** **…dream**

'_This is familiar. Have I been here before? Oh look! I remember this room. This is where Myra and I slept when we were with Mistah J, well" _I smirked, _"where she slept when I wasn't "alone".'_ I looked around at our room, it was still the same. Black and white striped walls, a window that showed the slums of Gotham city, two very nicely furnished beds: one green and the other blue. Those were the only other colors in the entire room. The furniture was even white and black. The television had been spray painted to look like that black and white swirl that's supposed to hypnotize. The floor was black tile and had white rugs. A perfect contradiction; just like me and Myra. Only which of us was black and which was white?

I felt myself moving about the room, touching various objects. As I sat down at the desk I noticed that the makeup was out and that it had recently been used. My eyes landed in the mirror and I gasped at my reflection. How could I have forgotten of my role here? In this room I had the same role as my role out in the world, robbing banks and being one of Mistah J's wicked twin mimes. There was no difference between sleeping and being awake. My lips were half white with black outlining and the other half simply black. My makeup was perfectly done covering my face in a white cream. The finely black drawn on mask around my eyes enhanced the black color that my eyes were. Most people assumed I wore contacts, but I just simply change my eye color.

The outfit I was wearing was as pretty as I could remember it. Purely Harley Quinn, only in leather instead of spandex. Mr. J likes it when I shine. It was a fitted suit and surprisingly comfortable that was black with various white diamonds randomly placed all over. I had the sexy white shoes and gloves that also have random white diamonds to complement it. Finally, I had the funny hat that was all black but half of it was sparkly with glitter and I fit all of my hair inside. I remember adoring this costume.

A moment later I heard the door open and I saw Myra walk in, wearing her outfit. Again, I'd forgotten how unique it was. Hers was exactly the opposite of mine. Mine represented the 'prefect' costume, while hers represented the opposite of perfection. The fabric she had was not leather, but spandex. It was white where mine was black and the same with the diamonds. Upon her feet were black combat boots that had about four buckles on each foot. Her gloves looked tattered and torn like they'd been used repeatedly (which they were, mine were always new and shiny). Her hat was the biggest difference in our opposite costumes, for hers did not spring up, it hung down around her shoulders going down to her knees. This too held all her hair, hiding the green that it was.

But her makeup was the true kicker; where mine was 'perfect', hers was horrible, smeared, and dirty and completely all over her hat where it touched her face, her eyes were purely white with not even the pupils black. She was, undoubtedly, the 'imperfect mime'. Ironically, she choose to look this way, claiming that what is 'chaos' if even twins are identical? I had to ask the same question I always asked her every day we were here. "Myra, why am I supposed to be the perfect mime? Shouldn't that have been you?"

"Isn't it simple?" she said to me, her voice sounding distant, as if this was just a memory and not real. Was it? I shook my head 'no' to both answer her question as well as mine. Why would this be a memory? I can feel everything. She giggled a little, making me smile. I like to hear my sister happy. "Because, as I've said before, naturally I always appear to be the 'prefect one'. In mind, physique and language. If I pranced around dressed as the perfect one, people wouldn't understand the cause we stand for. You do remember the cause right? I'll tell you anyway, it's that Chaos IS FAIR! Nothing is as it seems. You and I are in fact, one person, yet split in half by demons of hell. We alone represent this chaotic chart that Mr. J is trying to make people see. If we are opposites of not only each other, but what we really are, _then_ chaos is complete! It's completely _fair_. Do you remember now?" She asked.

Before I could answer her by asking if we had any food in the house (because I'm hungry) I heard the living room door slam. Mistah J was home! My lover man was here! Instantly I rushed out of our room, Myra in tow, and went in search for my cranky-bear. He's always cranky when Batman won't play his games. When I went into the living room I found Mistah J, but he was at his liquor cabinet having a scotch. Uh-oh, looks like Mr. BattyMan didn't play Mistah J's games today… I better make him feel better before he kicks the TV again. I wouldn't be able to watch my cartoons if he did that! By god, I gotta know what's on the next episode of Tom and Jerry. I have to know what that mouse is up to! Heads WILL roll if I don't find out.

I went over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Unexpectedly, he grabbed my hand and twisted it behind my back and pressed my back against his chest. "Not now, Alice. I'm not in the mood for your childish antics." His grip tightened on my wrist every second.

Of course he wasn't hurting me on purpose, because it does hurt, he's just upset. Maybe if I give him a foot massage he'll feel better! I smiled up at him. "Would you like me to give you a foot massage?"

"SHUT UP!" he yelled in my ear. Instantly I knew that the on/off switch was on because I saw Myra try and clear her ear out from that yell. Oops!

That's when I remembered I don't like being yelled at. Myra yells at me all the time and tells me why she did it, so I don't get mad at her. But when someone yells for no reason, I get _PISSED_. "Exsqueese me? Baking power?" my voice whispered in a deadly tone. He was in for it now and he knew it. This is where Myra and I tend to have one of those rare moments where we switch personalities; aka, I'm the bitch right now, not Myra. "You did NOT just yell in my ear! Do you know how RUDE that was?" I raised my hand and slapped him fucking hard in the back of the head. I did it two more times making him let me go and for shits and giggles. People of the world need to stop being so rude, so until they do, or I switch personalities again, I'm doing this for kicks as well as discipline. "It's very rude to yell in people's ears! Want another hit? YELL AGAIN!" I threatened.

It was quiet for a while with the exception of Myra's giggling. I would have slapped her for being rude into thinking it was funny, but I was too fueled by anger right now. A minute went by before Mistah J slowly reached into his pocket and withdrew a knife. His dark eyes looked straight into mine as he started to laugh his hysterical laugh. Ah, chaotic music to my ears. Then he stopped abruptly as he started advancing towards me. _'Oh shit.'_ Instantly I knew that if I didn't turn of the freaky twin connection before the joker and I got into fighting, Myra would have my ass as soon as she got her personality back. So I turned it off.

Those smeared lips were wetted as his tongue slid across them in a quick motion and hid again back inside his mouth. He took a few more steps until he was directly in front of me, starring me down. "You know, Alice, I really, _really_ didn't like that!" he growled. Before my mind could even comprehend what happened, I felt a stabbing pain like no other in my back. The psycho was cutting me in the back, laughing at it too! I let out a scream of agony as he made another cut and another after that one. Around the fourth cut Myra seemed to get her personality back because she yelled for him to stop it, that he was using the wrong knife but I knew better; he purposely used the knife _I_ made him, the only type of knife that would leave a scar on either me or my sister. Myra told me it was a bad idea to give him one of _my_ knives, but I didn't listen and now it's come back to bite me in the ass, or the back in this case.

When he seemed satisfied he threw the knife down and marched back over to the bar and continued to drink his scotch as if nothing had happened. Now my rage was in full effect, blinding my pain temporarily. Without even thinking I picked up the knife he discarded and rushed over to him, making him spill his drink as I forced his face in my hands. Swiftly I put the blade in his mouth and watched as a surprised reaction came over his face. Clearly he wasn't expecting me to retaliate. "You want to cut me and leave a scar, huh?" I asked, venom dripping from my voice. I noticed that Myra gasped as she heard the triple echo in my throat when I spoke, meaning that she wasn't about to interfere with my new plans. "Why so serious, Mistah J? Let's put a smile on that FACE!" I smiled as I started to dig the blade into the left side of his face, cutting his cheek wide open and hearing him scream for the first time. I had to take a moment and let the cenobite in me enjoy his screams; it wouldn't be fair if I missed out on an experience like this. Quickly I finished with that side of his mouth, making an uneven cut and proceeded to do the same with the other. As I was doing this he took advantage of my distraction and shoved his hands into my now blood covered exposed flesh, causing me more pain/pleasure. Good thing my cenobite half wasn't too distracted, making sure I caused him just enough suffering for any mortal to think that this mere little cut was hell.

When I released him from my iron grip he did the same. Suddenly my pleasure sensors disappeared as my mind went back to normal, now that my rage was over. Crap. I walked over to Myra and started to cry in her arms as she held me. "M-Myra! It-it hurts! Is it going to heal?" I asked, forgetting that it would not. Tears continued to escape my lips as I tried to think about happy things to take my mind off the pain; like the hobo down the street that always asks for French fries when I walk by. He's a nice old man, he'd never hurt a fly. I give him hamburger's you know?

Her eyes went from the white she'd been using for several years now to black as they landed on my back. "No. He used the _wrong_ knife!" she screeched. "They'll never heal! Can I kill him?" she asked me.

"NO!" I gasped. "You-you can't! It-it was just a bad day. He's had a rough day, he didn't mean it!" I begged. I still loved the guy, just because he hurt me doesn't mean he did it purposely, right?

"He hurt you," she whispered, her eyes staring at his sobbing form. "He knew exactly which knife he was using too."

"DON'T! Just don't do it! Please Myra, don't be that bad. We may be criminals but we don't kill! WE DON'T KILL!" I reminded her. True, we don't kill. We may torture, we may be very mean and like mind games, but we don't take pleasure in killing. It goes against our morals, no matter if we're working for the joker or not.

"Ok…I won't kill him." She graced me with a smile that I could only say was mother-like. "But we do need to fix you and him up. Then you and I are going to have a long talk, ok?"

I was satisfied now that I had my way. Then my stomach growled. "Yeah. But can we watch Tom and Jerry while we clean up? And bake cookies?" I hope we bake cookies. "Chocolate chip perferribly. When you put in your mouth the cookie just crumbles and with some milk…"

"Sure," she whispered quietly, her eyes on Mistah J the whole time. "Sure."

***end dream***

**[Myra P.O.V.]**

I ran into Alice's room as soon as I heard her screaming. What greeted my eyes was more than enough to make any human lose their lunch. Her sheets were covered in blood as she thrashed about, trying to fend off the nightmare that plagued her mind while she slept. But that wasn't what made me stand still for a few moments; it was the fact that the blood came from her reopened scars on her back. She'd never had any scars reopen before, and to have _his _scars reopen only made a small sliver of fear run down my spine like a chill on a morning run. Quickly I rushed to her side and placed her in my arms, trying to wake up my sister. "Alice! Alice wake up! Wake up now! It's just a dream!" I shook her violently until her eyes opened and tears of joy were released as they landed on me.

"MYRA!" she hollered as her face came crashing into my chest. "I had a bad dream! I dreamed about when I gave the joker his scars and when he gave me mine! And I was afraid that he'd bust the TV and I wouldn't get to watch Tom and Jerry and I wanted to bake cookies and I was hungry and my back hurts!" she said fast. Oh fuck me sideways, she dreams about one of the worst memories of her life and she just _has to_ include Tom and Jerry cartoons? I sighed while shaking my head. Would she ever grow up? Probably not.

I looked at the bloody mess we were sitting in and knew instantly that she'd need to go sit in the bath tub for the blood to clog; the cuts were simply too big to heal and scar over on their own. I lifted her up and took her to the bathroom and laid her down in the big bath tub as I ran some warm water. As my eyes scanned her form I noticed that her blue locks of hair were already drenched in dark red blood, meaning she'd have to wash it out (which is a pain in the ass to get her to do anyway).

When the water filled up I turned it off and handed Alice her shampoo. By now she'd stopped crying and simply sat there and starred at the water as it went from translucent to red, beginning the clogging process. Her (currently) brown eyes looked up at me in confusion as I continued to hold her shampoo out to her. "You have to wash your hair out, there's blood in it."

"But I don't want to," she complained.

"You have to."

"No I don't," she said like the child she is sometimes. She even crossed her arms over her chest to 'emphasize' her point.

"Yes you do," I repeated.

"No. I don't."

"Yes, you do! Otherwise I won't order any pizza AND I'll take away all your wizard points!"

That got her attention as she starred at me in horror. I don't know why she and I even invented this game about taking away all our…whatever points. It might have been because we were watching that one movie where the drag queens would take away all the princess points if Chi Chi didn't do as she was told. Today it was wizard points, tomorrow might be funny points. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"Yes I can. But if you wash your hair I will call up the pizza place, order you the biggest cheese pizza AND we'll listen to your current favorite band," I bribed.

Instantly her attitude changed into a serious one. "Can it be Muse?"

"Yes…" I said slowly, wondering why all of a sudden she was interested in them. I mean, sure in hell she's got the CD's and posters but she's never thought about them on earth. "We will listen to Muse if you do as I say."

"OK!" and with that she tore the shampoo from my hand and started to scrub out all the blood from her hair.

I left the bathroom and called up the pizza place. "Hello. Ok, I'll take 40 extra-large triple cheese pizzas, 10 of your 2 liters of Root Beer and 10 of your 2 liters of Mountain Dew." … "Am I having a party? No." … "What do you mean that order is absurd! I want all that and I'll pay extra if you get here in 45 minutes." … "What do you mean impossible!?!?! Oh, not enough man power or room in the cars? Well I'll pay triple!" … "Listen here buddy, if you don't deliver my pizzas here in 45 minutes I will walk over there and make you wish you were never born!" … "Thank you. It's just down the street, number 7845." … "Yes, down the same street as the pizza parlor. So what's my total?" … "$504! Wow, I'm getting a deal compared to last time. Ok, I'm paying cash and a big tip, so DON'T be late!" With that I hung up the phone and went into the living room and started up the stereo. As I browsed through all the CD's on the wall I spotted one of her Muse CD mixes she'd recently made and put it on, turning the music up half way.

As I walked back into Alice's room I noticed that she'd finished with her bath already and was now at her computer on the internet. I took a moment to examine her freshly exposed skin covered scars that had healed nicely while I was on the phone. Picking up a shirt I threw it at her and told her to put it on. She obeyed without as much as a peep for argument. This was getting strange. I walked over to her and noticed that she was on Ebay buying crap online. What struck me first as shocking wasn't what she was buying, but what her fucking user name was. "Centre_Bite5? You do know that you spelled 'Cenobite' wrong don't you?"

"I thought it was spelled this way!" she said, not even looking at me. Again she clicked on another item and bought it. When I noticed what she'd typed in to look for I nearly fell over; Muse items.

"Muse! I thought your current thing was Johnny Depp!"

"It is! But Mathew Bellamy is SOOOO hot! And soooo dreamy. Oh, look! A Muse backpack, I need one!" CLICK.

"You don't go to school!" I argued. CLICK again.

"Don't care. OH! Look Myra, stickers! And autographs! And NEW CD'S! And a guitar pick, a skateboard, a Bellamy doll…" and so the list went on as she clicked away, buying everything Muse that she could. I think we have problem…

An hour later she was still on Ebay buying everything she found that she didn't already buy. Yes, I think I have discovered a future problem; my sanity is at stake. Suddenly the door opened and George came in with a grocery bag and headed into the kitchen. I waited a few minutes for Fred to come in but he never did. Slowly I got up off the couch and walked over to the door to see if he was outside; he wasn't. Breathing deeply I plastered a fake smile on my face, closed the door and headed to the kitchen. I snuck up behind him so quietly that he didn't even hear me breathing right behind him. As quick as lightning I raised my hand and slapped the back of his head hard and painfully. That'll teach him to leave the door open!

"OUCH! Myra, what the bloody hell was that for?" he asked, rubbing his head as he turned around and giving me the sad puppy dog eyes: it wasn't working on me.

"You left the door open," I simply stated.

"You hit me because I _left the door open_? What logical excuse is that?!"

"It's rude; flies come in and land all over the place. I can't aim worth shit when trying to kill flies. Don't leave the door open next time."

"Ok, I won't," he complained.

"Where's Fred?"

"Still out looking for a place to rent. I only came home to grab some lunch for the both of us. I see you've made noodles. It looks good," he complemented eyeing the carabounara I'd made earlier from his seat at the table.

I tried my hardest to not take that as an insult, considering that I always get lied to by a lot of people. George never lies so I try my hardest to not be mean when he complements me. But come on, after splitting Alice and I in half you'd think she was the one with self confidence issues: wrong, that'd be me. "Thanks George, I worked hard on it. It's one of my favorite dishes. I'll pack it up for you and Fred for when you leave. Are you leaving soon?"

His smile was so big and bright that it reminded me of one of my friends that I haven't seen in years. Mostly my good friend Paul. I dismissed the thought instantly and continued to gaze at my boyfriend. Now his smile had turned into a smirk, so I raised an eyebrow. "You could say I've got a reason to stay a while," he said smoothly, directing his eyes at my lips.

My heart started to beat fast for some reason, making my half demonic blood pump through my body. What was going on? Why was I reacting this way? He's stared at me before, what's the difference this time. The difference was that I could see something in his eyes that told me he had a plan. Fucking schemer. He got up from his seat and walked in front of me, taking slow tantalizing steps. When he stood before me, I had to look up at him, realizing once again that I was short being 5 feet and one inch. Closer and closer he inched towards my face until his lips barely touched mine when he whispered, "Myra, I want to try and go a little further this time. Do you mind?"

Further. He wants to go further. Oh my fucking god, he wants to kiss me with tongue! I think, anyway. I have to ask. "W-what do you mean by 'further'?"

"I want to kiss you with tongue and I would like to gently caress you while doing so." Like I said, he's a fucking schemer. Still love him though.

My mind was jumbled. "I-I've never done that before."

"I know. I'd like to be the first." With that he gently laid his lips upon mine, making my heart beat erratically. It's never beat that fast before, never. It took me a minute to realize that he'd placed his hands upon my face and started to move them towards my neck; making circular patterns as he rubbed the skin below my chin. The feeling sent shockwaves throughout my nerves and made me gasp in surprise. He used my shock to his advantage and slid his tongue inside my mouth to massage it against mine. The action did not make me cringe like I originally thought it would.

Unexpectedly I found myself rubbing my tongue against his, deepening the kiss, as well as running my hands through his red hair and pulling it gently. When I heard him groan I quickly pulled my head away from him and stared at the door, listening for Alice to barge in here any second. "What if Alice catches us?" I asked. Talk about embarrassing. I don't need her calling Angelique up to tell her about my first 'real' make-out session.

Forcing my head to face his again he made me stare into those bright eyes that told me worlds of emotions. "Screw her. She snogs Fred all the time." With that he kissed me again, only this time I was more than willing to cooperate with his demands. Closing my eyes I let my emotions take over. I could feel that his hands became bolder as they traveled lower than my neck, going all the way to my chest. I opened my eyes to see that George's were open, waiting for my permission to continue. I simply nodded my consent and his hands took their sweet time to grope around my chest area, igniting a passion I never knew I'd had before.

The next thing I knew George pulled his lips away from me picked me up and set me on the counter. I was about to ask what he was doing when I felt his lips trail down my throat, leaving hot wet kisses that burned my skin in a good way. Was it getting hotter in here or was it just me? Now his hands were all over the place, touching my chest, my hips, my back, my thighs and even going as far as to pull my hair out of my braid I'd just put it in and pull from the roots. Gaining a magnificent wave of pleasure from the action my mind became so distracted that I didn't hear the doorbell ring or even Alice answer it. What I did hear was Alice giggle from the doorway of the kitchen to the living room as she spied on me. Frantically I pulled away from George and jumped down from the counter. Spoil sport sister of mine!

"Pizza's here," she snickered. "You need to pay him Myra."

I glared at her as I rushed out of the kitchen and to the front door where the pizza guy was waiting patiently. "Sorry I'm─" he started.

"Shut your face! Here's $652. Don't talk, just put the pizzas in the living room and keep the change." I threw the money in his face as I grabbed the first 3 boxes in his hands and rushed to the living room table, the pizza guy followed inside with 4 wagons attached to each other. After all the pizza was sorted throughout the living room the guy left.

George entered the room along with Alice. "Myra, Fred just called and he needs George down near the wand shop, he thinks he found a place for the business. So that means no sucking face!" she chirped. I wanted to strangle right now; I'll wait until I get a hold of her teddy bear and hold it for ransom. Poor Teddy Till won't know what hit him when I get a hold of his foot long body that only has three limbs!

I picked up a box of pizza and put it in George's hands rushing him out the door; might as well save him the embarrassment from Alice, he'll get enough of it from Fred. When I locked the door behind him I turned to Alice and glared at her, one eye squinting. "Don't start if you know what's good for you," I mumbled.

"Ok, but can I eat _now?_" she begged. Literally she was bouncing up and down in anticipation. Looks like Teddy Till will get to live another day.

"Sure, sure. Just make sure you─" she began stuffing her face before I even finished, "─swallow."

About twenty minutes later, after all 39 pizza's were finished off along with 19 out of 20 soda bottles, I started to relax, thinking that Alice had completely forgotten. At least until she opened her cheese filled mouth. "Don't admit to George that he was right about the 'taking it further' thing," she said out of nowhere.

Shocked I said the only thing I could think of. "WHAT?"

"I'm having one of those 'smart' moments, so take rule #85 to heart."

"Rule #85? Of what?!" I asked, confused by sister's illogical brain. Sometimes I question if we really were one person at one time, though I know better.

"Rule #85 in love: never admit to a man he's right. He'll never let you live it down, even if it takes years for him to bring it up again. For example, if we told dad he was right about that time you slipped in Chatterbeast's pee instead of my spilled soda he'd never let you live it down."

"Well it's not like any of us knew the dog could even pee in the first place! And to think, pin-fuck was right, even though he was just joking about it being urine!"

"Exactly my point! Now did I ever tell you about the guy that lives on the ceiling of my room?" she asked randomly, completely forgetting the previous topic.

**[Alice P.O.V.]**

"Yeah there's this guy on my ceiling that's not Torso." I want to tell her about the sexy cute man with blue eyes! He's just so adorable!

"Alice, no one else goes in your room. Who on earth are you talking about?" Myra asked me.

I sighed and prepared to tell her exactly what I told mommy Angelique. "Just listen. There _IS_ a guy with very bright blue eyes, short-ish brown hair that kind of curls, he looks pretty tall by the way he leans from the bars and oh my god, he is soooo sexy! He's got arms to kill for! And thighs to go with them too! Sometimes he has facial hair and other times he looks like he shaves, but don't know. He's totally your type Myra!" I said excitedly. He is definitely her type! He's handsome, sexy, gorgeous, looks completely fuckable, and he looks a lot like our friend Chri- Oh! Look, one 2 liter of Root Beer left! _MINE!!!_ Then I felt a slap behind my head. "OUCH! What was that for?" I whined.

'_Uh-oh, she's glaring. She's not happy. Oh, right, Root Beer to drink!'_ Right as I was about to drink the last 2 liter she snatched it from my hand and growled at me. "I'm with George, Alice! And for your information, I'm pretty sure that if there _was_ a guy on your ceiling, I'd have seen him by now."

"He's shy. He hides when you come in the room." True, he does hide when she comes in. I can tell he thinks she's cute. Now how am I going to get that Root Beer from her?

"Well, maybe if you introduced me to your friend, he wouldn't have to hide form me so much. Then I wouldn't think you're crazy!"

"Oh. Ok, well, can I have that Root Beer now? You're not going to drink it are you?"

"Here," she handed it back to me. I drank it in like, 4 seconds. Mmm…that's good.

As I finished it off and was about to burp, I heard the doorbell ring that scared me and made me hiccup. I looked to Myra to see if she was going to answer it and see who it was. It could have been a serial killer, or maybe it was my stuff from Ebay! Instantly I was at the door and opened it hard enough to break it from the hinges. "OOPS!" I squeeked. Ah man, now I have to put it back together!

A deep chuckle drew my attention that was a disaster of a door. When I looked at the guest I ran right into his arms! Good thing he was a sturdy man. I think I would have crushed him otherwise! "LUCIAN!"

"Hello Alice, how are you?" he asked, putting my hair behind my ears. I jumped down from his arms and looked him up and down. Same outfit as ever; black shirt, black pants, black shoes and awesome jacket. As I took a closer look at his cool sneakers I noticed a penny on the ground next to his foot.

"PENNY!" I yelled as I dove in for the shiny object. "I'm gonna name you Fillip shiny penny!" I held it like it was my last chocolate bar, it wasn't going _anywhere_.

"I see you haven't changed much," he said.

Myra came up behind me. "She'll never change. Anything shiny that crosses her eye; she dives for it and forgets everyone else. Sorry Lucian, but you've been ditched for a penny." I didn't ditch him! I'm just giving my shiny penny named Fillip all my attention right now. I wonder if Fillip needs a bath? She could play with my rubber ducks in the tub!

A second later I felt the sting of Myra's slap on the back of my head, again. I looked at her like she was a Meany; why'd she hit me??? "You're mean, Myra."

"Well you're rude. You haven't offered Lucian to come inside."

"OH! I'm sorry! Lucian, would you like to come inside? It's nice and warm and smells like Frabreeze air freshener. It reminds me of this one time, where Myra and I were climbing a tree, I fell down and then I saw kitty run by and I chased the kitty cat but then this dog started chasing me so I ran and ran and then I saw a candy store─"

"Alice, just let him in," Myra groaned.

"Sorry." I moved aside and watched him walk in. Damn he's tall!

He sat on the couch and folded his hands in his lap as he observed Myra and I take our seats. His beard had grown longer since the last time we'd seen him, I wonder if he'd mind that if I played with it? "Girls, how are things?"

"Good. Better than ever, really. Alice has been behaving a lot better since the school we were going to blew up not too long ago. For once she was getting good grades."

"It's because I wasn't taking math."

"Just play with your penny and I'll tell him the story. Ok, sweetie?"

"Ok sissy. Oh, Lucian, do you want some pizza? There's a piece left."

His laugh was hearty and strong. "No thank you Alice. I'm on special diet, remember?"

"Oh yeah, all meat." I let him and Myra continue to talk while I listened and thought about what to do with Fillip.

"So other than seeing your two favorite cenobites, what brings you here Lucian?"

Both me and Myra heard him sigh. Uh-oh. That sounds unpleasant. Kind of like when you know Myra's going to hit you for being rude. "Craven has escaped the prison we put him in and has teamed up with some guy named Dr. Crane. My legion of werewolves is hunting them down as we speak to recapture him. I just came by to say that things aren't as steady as they should be so heads up. Keep your eyes open where ever you go. I must leave now; my companions are waiting outside for me." With that he hastily stood up and left.

Myra was the first to break the silence, since I was still playing with Fillip. "I think we do indeed need to keep our eyes open Alice. Strange things have been happening these past few weeks. I'm just hoping that Lucian will find Craven and discover why he's teamed up with Crane."

"As in my ex?" I asked. Obviously I missed something here while Fillip was telling me about the square root of cherry pie.

I saw her shake her head and roll her eyes. "Technically, he was just using us to test drugs. But if you want to call him your ex-boyfriend who barely liked either of us, go ahead."

**Meanwhile…[George P.O.V.]**

Something's on Fred's mind. He's fidgeting like he's had one too many butterbeers and taffy's. I should probably not mention that I've just bought some more Berty Botts for Alice and Myra and intend to give Myra the earwax and vomit flavors. That ought to make her mad enough to forget being embarrassed. Sure as bloody hell would do wonders for me!

Wow…I can't believe she let me take it further! She's always so shy! And prudish, as Fred claims. I think she's perfect for me, even if she is a prude. She's logical yet knows that even rules have limits. I love it when she breaks the rules; it shows me the true rebel I know she can be. That and she's the most interesting person, besides Alice, that I've ever had the pleasure to come across. And she's all mine.

Fred's hand waving in front of my eyes brought me out of my daydream. "George, hello? Are you there?"

"Knock it off," I groaned as I moved his hand away from my face. God only knows where that thing has been!

"Well, if you'd answer my question I'd be happy to not think of you as a nit-wit."

Quickly I tried to think about everything he'd been talking about for the last few minutes while I was off in lala land. Damn, can't remember anything. "Uh, remind me what the topic was about."

"You weren't even listening!" he complained. "Great. Wonderful. _Fantastic!_ It was sad enough I was asking you of all people in the first place!"

Now I was confused. "What in the name of Merlin are you talking about Fred?"

The sound of his sigh indicated that he really, _really_ wanted to talk about…whatever it is he wants to talk about. "Fine, I'll say it again. Well George, you know how I already proposed to Alice, right?" With his skin getting flushed it helped me remember why he would be embarrassed.

"Yeah…you screwed up from the original plan mate. I mean, come on! You just got nervous on her and asked her like it was no big deal!" Oh yeah, Fred fucked up on that proposal big time. "Just be happy she actually said 'yes' to you, after the stunt you pulled."

"I didn't know she was actually going to eat the new taffy experiment we made once I pulled it from my pocket!"

"Which then turned her tongue purple and gave her blisters in her mouth, might I add."

"I'm still shocked that she ate it without even asking what it was, or even noticed that the ring I hid in the wrapper was even there! What was I supposed to do? I said the first thing that came to my mind and considering I'd been dead set on asking her to marry me anyway that day that was the first thing that came out of my mouth. I was worried and nervous."

"So what does that have to do with anything?" I questioned him. This ought to be interesting.

"I want to ask her again, only this time it would be more romantic. No silly trick for candy. This time it won't be a nervous joke."

Was I hearing my brother correctly? He actually wanted to be romantic? Well, who was I to put a guy down when he was out for something he really wants. "Well do it then!" He seemed relieved by my answer. I didn't question why though, it wasn't my business.

Quicker than I could ask he picked up the papers from several locations that were renting space out and grabbed my hand and we went straight for the brooms. He didn't have to tell me twice where we were going; shopping. On the way home we stopped by a candy shop and he picked up a box of candy and put the new ring he'd bought for her inside. With that done we went to the store and he bought her a Root Beer and stuffed it into his bag.

It took several minutes for us to fly home by the brooms we currently had. Our old Nimbus 2000 brooms were getting worn and we were waiting until they broke before we got some FIREBOLTS. Landing quickly we discarded the brooms and headed inside, noticing both Alice and Myra clean up the many boxes of pizza and soda that littered the living room. Both girls smiled at us and proceeded to clean.

Nervously Fred removed the candy box from his coat pocket and walked over to Alice. Looks like he was eager to get this done with. "Alice, I know I love you more than anything in the world, and I know that what I'm about to ask you I already have; I'd just like the chance to make it right this time." Smooth, bro. He went down on one knee and handed her the box of candy. Her eyes got big, knowing that inside that little box would be sweets. Slowly he opened it and her eyes got even bigger. By this time I was surprised she'd remained quiet. "Alice, will you marry me? Even though I already asked?"

Any second now she's going to do one of 2 things: scream or eat the candy _then_ scream. "Yes," she whispered. To say that I fell over in shock would be an understatement. 'Yes'? That's it? No drama? I'm slightly confused. Then she screamed. "YES! YES! YES! YES!" she was so loud I think my ears bled.

**[Narrator P.O.V.]**

After all the screaming of excitement Myra and George left the two lovers alone in the house. Both of them knew what was going to happen inside and neither of them wanted to stay and witness their twin shag the other. Just as the doors lock clicked into place a silence fell upon the room. Both of them knew what was going to happen, and both wanted it just as equally. For the past six months ever since Alice had learned the spell to protect other's from her curse she'd taken advantage of it with Fred almost on a daily basis. At one point, Myra had to leave because eventually they'd somehow managed to come into her room and start fucking when they were drunk. That was a very painful/happy night for them. Too bad neither of them could remember it much.

Alice looked at Fred and admired every inch of him; starting from the tips of his fiery red hair to the ends of his bare toes all she could think of was that he was a blessing from God. She'd have to give God a call and tell her thank you for inventing a wonderful specimen such as him. Every inch of him was perfect to her, even his flaws.

Slowly he approached her, making sure she admired him every second that he prolonged this, and he was going to prolong this as much as possible. She deserved everything he could give her and more. The moment she said yes to him the first time he knew he had to make her happy no matter what the cost, even if it cost him his soul. She may not have needed to claim his soul once she learned the protection spell, but he gladly gave it to her along with his heart. Her beauty was both innocent and seductive that she was a complete contradiction for herself. Closer he came to her, now only a few feet away he reached for her hand and gently grasped it.

The feel of his hand on hers sent wonderful shivers all over her flesh, igniting her desire like a wild fire. Oh how she wanted to take his clothes off his body and ravish him, lick him, suck him, bite him and caress him, but she'd wait. As simple minded as her thoughts were, she knew what he wanted and he wanted this to be a special time for them. She looked into his eyes and saw it; love. This was who she was meant to be with. After decades of loneliness and several failed attempts at love she knew this was it, she could feel it. And knowing that, she would let him do whatever he wanted because she trusted him like no other before.

Fred could barely contain the animal inside him, like a starving man that has been sat in front of the most delicious and exotic foods from all over the world he only wanted to show her that he could take his time and savor the banquet. Carefully, as if she were made of porcelain, he placed his hand upon her cheek and felt her smooth soft skin and felt the slight chill her body held. He didn't care that she was only half human, he didn't care that if his soul didn't belong to her or her sister that the cenobites could kill him; all he cared about was that she love him as much as he loved her. That was enough. As he gazed into her eyes he could see the conflict in them; one side of her wanted to be spontaneous and innocent while the other fought to control the urges, be more of an adult. But that wasn't all he saw, he saw her passion, her love and her struggle to be good.

Stroking her skin like it was the finest silk he leaned in and pressed his lips gently against hers. Both of their heart beats were fast and erratic, almost beating in sync with each other. Her lips tasted like the finest sugar and he had to have more. Breaking only a small part of his control he allowed himself to force her hot mouth open and accept his invading tongue. The intensity of the moment made it feel like the room rose ten degrees. The feel of her tender skin against his as he pulled her closer to his body started to awaken his length from its sleep. Alice could feel it rise and prod into her side as Fred's embrace became slower and stronger groping. Carefully he slid his hands under her black tank top and drew his hands higher and higher until they reached her hardened nipples. She inhaled a sharp breath as he pinched the hard peaks of her body then caressed them as a lover should.

He broke the kiss and let a little more control slip from his grasp, trailing hot wet kisses all over her exposed neck down to the top of her shirt where her beautiful skin was bare. The action made her groan with lust, clouding her mind of everything but him and his body. Taking her sweet noises as a good sign he slowly led her to their bedroom. Once inside he took a quick glance around the room to make sure he wouldn't trip over anything; that and Myra had told him she'd had to change the sheets from a 'bloody accident'. Seeing that everything was clean and clear he led her over to the bed where he gently laid her down while still kissing as much skin as possible.

She was burning and his hands on her chest and lips on her body only burned her more. This intense fire was going to erupt if she didn't find release soon and she wondered if Fred would be so kind as to hurry it up and start making love to her. As if he'd heard her silent prayers his hands dug inside her sweat pants to find she wore no underwear. _'Thank you laundry day,'_ she mentally whispered. Already she was wet and ready from his strong hands touching her, loving her flesh so when he finally put his hands inside her hot opening she cried out in ecstasy. Being skilled with his hands he played with her moist pussy.

Soon she wasn't even able to keep her voice down and just started to pant and scream his name as his fingers dove faster, in and out of her. The pressure built higher as his fingers found that wonderful secret spot and his lips once again found hers. Her mind swam as she thought about his hard length, of how soon it would be inside her, fucking her. Wanting a release she brought her hand to her swollen nub and rubbed it, stimulating her further.

Fred, noticing where her hand had wondered to, pushed it away and did the job himself, getting harder the longer he did. His cock was so hard for a second he feared that he wouldn't be able hold out long once he was inside her but dismissed the idea; he would hold it and wait to come inside her hot, tight opening that was starting to pulsate from the beginning of her first orgasm. Faster he pumped his long fingers inside her, demanding from his dick that he not come without being inside her. Right as he bit her neck a little he finally felt her come hard and fast.

Not wasting anymore time, he slowly stripped himself down, watching her expressions change from the high she was riding. Quickly he helped her remove her shirt and sweats and proceeded to kiss every inch of skin he hadn't gotten before. From tasting her breasts to her toes and finally her leaking core he stroked his tongue along her slit, making her cry out again. This time he could faintly heard her feminine voice double and it only turned him on some more by the soft melody it made in his ears. Without any control over her body anymore she thrust her hips to meet his hungry mouth that licked every inch of her there. Still drugged from her first high it didn't take long for her to reach a second one.

As if a cord had been snapped, Alice shook violently from the pleasure and couldn't breathe for several seconds and instantly her sexual side took over. Before Fred could even lift his head she jerked his body up and forced him on his back and slid his ready cock inside her waiting pussy. Both of them groaned in satisfaction and started thrusting against each other, making rough jerking movements as they did so and creating the sweetest friction either of them have ever felt. Her breathing started becoming heavier as she went wild on top of him, riding his dick like it was her life on the line if she didn't fuck the shit out of him.

Fred forgot everything about going slow once she sat upon his aching member. The feel of her warm velvety walls gliding over him as he thrust inside her over and over, bringing them closer to that brink of chaotic ecstasy one would call bliss. When her movements got even rougher he had to hold back from coming right then; he _needed_ to come with her. With one more jerk of her hips they both went flying into a ray of pleasure that was so powerful that they felt as if lightning had struck in the most erotic way.

When both of them started to fall asleep in the other's arms, their thoughts were the same. _'I'm glad I finally found you.'_

**Next day…[Joker P.O.V.]**

Who does he think he is? A god? Just because he can use some sort of magic stick thing doesn't mean he can go off and take what's _mine. _And she is mine, always will be. He's just like all the rest of them, _schemers_. Every single one of them has _a plan_ to follow; they just can't seem to go with the flow! And she could have done better if she wasn't mine. I mean, just because I _let her_ _leave _Gotham doesn't mean she was allowed to leave me. I don't see what her problem is? Just because we got into a small lovers tiff and both ended up _horrifically scarred_ doesn't_ mean_ anything! HAHAHAHA. Oh she's so original! Cutting up my face! The best idea ever! I can respect a woman who knows how to use her anger, and boy did she use it! Now I'm _always_ smiling. I've got a reason to laugh at everything and having my permanent happy face only makes my mood even better.

Sure I like to tell a little white lie about how I got these scars, I mean, I do love to have my past as multiple choice but the only people who will ever know about the truth for them are me and my favorite mimes. Ah, how I miss my beautiful wicked mimes. They worked so well too! Well good news for me, because soon the three of us will be one big chaotic family again. I can't let her marry a schemer! It would be so rude of me, as Myra might say. Wouldn't want to be rude now, would I? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well, _it_ _just so happens_ that I've been keeping tabs on these…boys for the past few days and studying their lives. They want to open up a Joke Shop? Those two wouldn't know a good joke if it came up and hit them in the back of the head! Well, _it just so happens_ that two days ago I walked into a shop and saw some ridiculous items that shouldn't even be sold! I mean come on, who _buy's_ clothes? And to have them all the same? Pathetic. I'd just steal the best home-made one of a kind materials. Being unique is perfectly chaotic! Why dress up like some dancing panda for society's rules? Well, _it just so happens_ that the clerk said the wrong thing and I had to blow his brains out. No one insults Alice, I learned from best. Stupid idiot thinks he can judge a book by its cover? Calling her an imbecilic child? Oh no, she is NO child. She _just so happens_ to be one of the craziest women alive.

Well, after that, I had my crew clean up the mess that _just so happened_ to be there and put a renting sign up. Well, _it just so happens _that a lackey of mine directed them in the right direction for a cheap building to rent. And _it just so happens_ that they'll becoming here at exactly 1 PM when _it just so happens _that a bomb that _just so happened_ to be placed inside the building will go off ironically at that very time. So _it just so happened_ that those two will "mysteriously" disappear from the world of the living and _just so happen_ to be here when the bomb goes off. Perfect I think. Then Alice and Myra will _just so happened_ to hear about the incident and come looking for me who _just so happened_ to be in the area watching the horrific tragedy. Oh, and look. It's five minutes to 1PM.

As I played with my favorite knife I kept my eyes on the building. If those two were late, which I doubt they would be by the price I set up for them, I would have to switch the timer off and use the detonator. Then, just when I was about to switch the timer off, those two children showed up and they didn't come alone. In the words of Alice, FUCK ME SIDEWAYS.

**[Alice P.O.V.]**

"Fred, can I look now? PLEASE??" I begged him. He had a blindfold over my eyes and I wanted to see where we were. It's not fair that they get to blindfold us. I want to sight see.

"Not yet. Myra stop playing with the blindfold!" Fred said.

"Sorry," she groaned.

"Ok, when you hear the signal, then you can open your eyes girls. We have to go in really quick and then we'll give the signal."

"Alright," Myra and I said together, making us both laugh.

As we waited I played with Myra's hand that I'd been holding. She has very soft hands, must be using that moisturizer I gave her for Christmas 7 months ago. "How much longer?" I asked.

"Until we hear the signal."

Right as she finished saying that, we heard a loud noise. Instantly I thought of fireworks because it was July after all. "OH! They're using fireworks as the signal!" I said. But then I smelled something that shouldn't smell like fireworks; I would know after hanging out with Rammstein for the last two weeks of their tour in America several years back. Those guys really know their fire toys! The smell of too much smoke clouded with the smell of burnt rubble filled the air. That's when realization hit. There were no fireworks. "Myra…I don't think that was fireworks."

We both took off the blindfolds and starred at the remnants of what appeared to be the school uniform store from the looks of the location. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I don't think Myra could either. Then that's when we heard the laughter.

"HA. HA. HA. HE. HE. HE. HO. HO. HO. Talk about firestarters!" said the voice of none other than my ridiculous ex. At first it didn't sink in, I was still starring at the rubble, not believing that Fred and George were gone. Gone forever.

Myra's grip on my hand tightened and that brought me out of my stupor and I looked over to her face. SHE WAS PISSED! My gaze followed hers, for she was not starring at me. There he stood, in his specially made purple suit with his damn make up on. Now it clicked in my head. The Joker had just killed the love of my life, of Myra's. HE CAUSED THEM TO DIE. HE KILLED THEM.

I didn't even notice that I was changing into my demon form. Myra's rage grew slowly where as mine was like a glass shattering; quick and dangerous to be near. I could feel my hair darken to black as midnight, black as pitch, and blacker than the foulest witch. So black that it was hard to stare at because of its' absent of color. I felt my skin turn to ice, meaning I was as white as chalk, as white as our father. The cuts that adorned my body sliced my skin open in every direction and open the wounds to reveal my demonic red-black blood and veins sticking out. My eye sight changed to red, meaning that my once rainbow eyes have become bottomless pits of death. The last thing to complete the change was when I felt the hooks appear upon my wrists, having the chains wrap around arms as a symbol of my bond with my grandfather Leviathan. I was a full cenobite right now and _THAT_ is not good for whoever I set my rage upon.

Before I took my first step Myra's hand grabbed mine and stopped me momentarily. My head turned sharply to her as if to tell her to try and stop me. Pissed as she was, she still looked normal. "You're about to turn into a Gorilla-Terminator." When she spoke her voice had darkened to the point where it would send chills to whoever heard it. "I won't' stand in your way. Let your hatred grow."

With that she let me lose and I stalked over to the Joker. The bastard wasn't even afraid of me; he may be a celebrity in hell because he's sent the cenobites so many souls over the years without even knowing it, but that doesn't mean he's safe with me around. This time, there would be no scars to walk away with; he wouldn't be walking away.

"Alice, Alice, Alice, they had to go! They were using you! They were trying to convert your mind into a socialist drone. You and Myra need to come back with me. That's where you really belong. Us freaks need to stick together." I tilted my head to the left, as if I was curious.

"You have to─" he didn't finish as I grabbed him by the throat and started to crush his windpipe. Chains that came from the alleyway he previously vacated and tore through his hands, shredding the flesh to bits and pieces. He didn't scream, he merely laugh.

Let's just say that I pulled an Angelique. Taking my other hand I extended my metallic nails and tore his balls off. "Oh, that's right. You like it rough, don't you? Well, that's what I'll give you." Then I proceeded to stick my hand in his chest and play with his organs like they were toys.

As much as I would like to savor his pain, my hatred was already at its peak and I couldn't stop myself from letting it end all too soon. Quickly I withdrew my hooked knife from my pocket and proceeded to cut his face open, enjoying the blood run over his body. Then I sliced his neck open in several places and enjoyed the disgusting gagging sounds he made while his life slipped from his body. I broke his arms and legs by throwing him to the ground and smashing them with my foot. Right before he died, I cut out his skin on his stomach and ate it right in front of him, letting him remember that I was going to hurt him for many years to come when he went to hell. The last thing he did was laugh at me in the face. I will tear his soul apart. "Ich muss zerstoren," I whispered.

**[Narrator P.O.V.]**

So far it's been a week since that fateful day in London where Fred and George died. A funeral was held for the twins with empty caskets but the girls didn't go; they couldn't bear to face Mrs. Weasley's tears for the loss of two of her children, even if she said it wasn't their fault. No one blamed them for what happened, they read about how the Joker planned this all out and was mysteriously murdered. Only a select few people know about the girls' and their 'background', it just so happened that the Weasley clan knew and didn't blame them one little bit no matter how bad it seemed.

For the entire week they've been in Vegas, going back to their favorite hotel (when they were one person at the time). It's been years since they came here and visited the town that started their temporary hobby: making boring cities into the most fun to go to. Yes, Alice (originally) and Myra turned Vegas from a shabby little town decades ago into the hit masterpiece it is now. No one would know it since there was never a record of how the drastic change happened.

While on their visit, they met 2 very unique people who instantly became their friends. Kyle and Jessie were the modern day super-humans. They are very strong, fast, and think better than a computer. With these two, the girls found companionship and understanding. Also, because of their weird ability to pick up powers that they either see or are near someone with powers they the girls gained the same powers as Kyle and Jessie. But that wasn't what drew these two groups together, it was the fact Kyle and Jessie seemed to almost have the same kind of relationship with each other as Alice and Myra do. In other words, Alice is like Kyle in a way, and Myra is like Jessie.

Sadly though, Kyle and Jessie had to return home, wherever that was, but gave them their phone numbers to keep in contact if they ever needed help or even a friend. With Kyle and Jessie gone, the depression started to return. Vegas wasn't helping their mood so they decided to leave after only about a 2 week stay in the city of drinking and gambling.

For days they walked by foot, sightseeing and eventually landed themselves in Washington State.

"Myra, my feet hurt!"

"Do you want to stop?"

"Sure."

So, being the weirdo's that they are, they climbed a 100 foot tall tree and sat in it. "Better?" Myra asked.

"Mmmhmm," was the only response.

**Authors note: PLEASE please please for the love of insanity PLEASE review. That's all I want. Even if it's the worst review EVER and although it doesn't make ANY SENSE just be nice and Review! Also, for those of you who don't know, Ich muss zerstoren means I must destroy. This was the final chapter to THIS part of the girls' story. Mind you, this really needed to be done, I got my ass kicked for saying I wasn't going to finish.**

**Thank you to the few friends I have that read this story and did not give up on me. For those of you that I KNOW read it, please humor me and review.**


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